If you could see through my eyes...

“If the eye does not want to see, neither light nor glasses will help.” - German Proverb

I picked up my new glasses today. I was a bit worried about wearing progressive lenses for the first time, but so far... so good. I haven't tripped up on my own feet yet! I bought the frames in Firenze last summer and, if I do say so myself, they're pretty cool... black & lime green. :-)

Apparently, donning new frames can be newsworthy, especially if you're the Leader of the Official Opposition. I couldn't believe that the Ottawa Citizen dedicated an entire article to the fact that Stéphane Dion changed his eye-glass frames. It morphed into a story about how politicians tend to lose their lenses in order to gain the confidence of the people. Ugh. I've long had a pet peeve about how glasses are associated to weaker and geeker personalities. Ever notice how, in the movies, the ugly duckling always seems to lose her glasses following her transformation into the elegant swan? I agree that there are ugly frames (usually acknowledged only in hindsight), but once - just once! - I'd like to see glasses portrayed in the media as vital, and creative, and fun. Since that's not likely to happen any time soon, I'll have to make an extra effort to communicate that message myself! :-)

In the meantime, hope you enjoy the beauty that can be found in a local optometrist's shoppe...



Pace e bene,

On thin ice...

Some would say it's like riding a bike... although you may be a bit wobbly at first, you never really forget how to do it.

After more than three years away from the ice, I strapped on my skates today and joined the throngs on the our local World Heritage Site, the Rideau Canal. The sun was shining... the temperature was perfect... and I felt like I didn't have a care in the world. - except for trying to stay upright. I think I may have been a bit too ambitious however; I skated its entire length and back again - a cool 13km (+/-). I can already feel the muscle pain creeping in; I'll have to let you know how bad it is tomorrow.

Mind you, tomorrow's pain may not be related to the distance I undertook... there was, after all, the fall. That single, hard fall - legs flying out from under me as I lost contact with the earth and fell flat onto my back. Now, the true elegance of my chute was not characterized by how I fell, but rather by where I fell. There's something very humbling about creating a thud! just as you are entering a port-a-potty. Yes, friends... that's right. A port-a-potty. I toyed with the idea of removing my skates first, but I really, really had to go... Time was of the essence! And that's the price I paid: my pride - and a sore butt. :-)

Well, back to the Oscars... Go Canucks!

Pace e bene,

Musical discoveries...

A short post to share with you my newest musical heartthrob, Jason Mraz. I've downloaded several of his songs from the iTunes store (a dangerous, dangerous place, BTW) and am actually looking forward to the release of his new album due out in May.

I have to admit... the iPod is giving me an opportunity to explore music in a way that I hadn't before. Some of my favourites from the past are there (Jesse Cook, Bruce Guthro, Great Big Sea, James Taylor, Indigo Girls...), but I'm enjoying some new-to-me stuff too (Andy McKee, Herbie Hancock, Eddie Vedder, Runrig... Jason Mraz!).

Hopefully it'll be a long while before I get myself into this situation again. :-)

Pace e bene,

Celebrating Love...

"Love is something learned only by the long, hard labor of life. It is sometimes over before we’ve even known we ever had it. We sometimes destroy it before we appreciate it. We often have it and simply take it for granted. But sometimes, if we’re lucky, we live long enough to grow into it in such a way that because of it we come to recognize the value of life. As the years go by, we come to love flowers and cats and small infants and old ladies and life on the dock and the one person in life who knows how hot we like our coffee." - Joan Chittister, OSB

Here's to celebrating the reality of Love in our lives - in all its forms, in all its expressions, in all its depth and breadth. Happy Valentine's Day, friends... and know that you are Loved.

And here's to the one I chose - twice. May we continue to grow together in Love & Life...

(photos by Findley Photography)

Pace e bene... e amore,

Stuck on Idol...

My name is jag. I'm an Idol addict.

There. I've said it. A new season has begun and I'll be stuck to the TV every week until mid-summer. If I'm lucky, I'll get a wee break between the American and the Canadian Idol editions. Thankfully, one of Hubby's techno-gadgets will allow me the freedom to watch at my convenience - and without commercials (yay for PVRs :-)).

Admittedly, I can't stand the early part of the show, the one where people seek out their 15 minutes of fame by making complete fools of themselves. The off-key singing/yelping actually hurts my ears. I often skip these episodes or have the TV on "mute" in the background. Hubby, on the otherhand, finds these early auditions very entertaining. "These are my people!," he exclaims.

Now, as the top 24 are being selected, I'll become engaged and will grow attached to my favourites. I'll be cheering them on and hoping for those unexpected, jaw-dropping performances. I will be living vicariously through them.

It's truly Idol time... bring it on!
Pace e bene,

Immersing myself...

IMMERSED (by John D. Engle Jr.)

Immersed in infinite energy and love,
I'm part of the eternal flow of things.
No matter when or where or how I move,
whether on earth with wheels or in air with wings,
I am a part of everything that is,
all that has been, or ever will be.
Designed by the dreams of all the divinities,
all beauty and all truth are mixed in me.
Knowing this, I shed by shell of doubt,
until free in the freedom of the one Mind
and linked to laws of love, I go about
fulfilling that for which I was designed,
which is to sing myself and try to share
the loveliness of which I am aware.

I came across this poem as part of my Lenten reading & journalling activities, and it resonated with me. I love the reference to my being designed "to sing myself" - I don't need to change who I am, I just need to go home to my original song and sing it for all to hear.

This theme of "immersion" also aligns with a thought-provoking interview I listened to recently on the CBC's Tapestry. If you want to broaden your horizons on the concept of God - and the marriage of science and religion - set aside an hour or so and listen to what Michael Dowd has to say.

Pace e bene,

Progressing well, thank you...

Time to celebrate progress:

• Yesterday, I ran on the treadmill for 25 minutes straight without stopping. Considering that I could hardly do 10 minutes on that thing when I started, I'd say that's progress.
• Today, for the first time, I ran the downtown two bridges route without stopping. Total of 4.5Km in 30:08. Next time, I'll break the 30 minute mark.
• I am gaining confidence in the kitchen. I've told myself "I can't cook" for so long that it was becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy. But with my renewed focus on eating right, I'm preparing more of my food from scratch. And as a kid who didn't eat vegetables, boy have I progressed! My favourite veggie dish this past week? Kale, sauteed in olive oil with lots of garlic, red onions and spritzed with lemon juice. Yum.
• Leaving work at 5pm, it was still light out! Now THAT is progress that I look forward to more of...
• After almost two months of being annoyed by a twitch in my right eye, I finally went to see my optometrist. Turns out my eyes are "progressing" alright, albeit in the wrong direction! The time has come for progressive lenses - it was bound to happen sooner or later.

I was contemplating these instances of progress over the past few days, when earlier this evening, I read these words from Joan Chittister, describing Lent: "Contrary to conventional wisdom Lent is not a series of behaviors. It is a series of questions that, year after year, is designed to measure our progress on the way to fullness of life."

Indeed, today also marks the beginning of Lent, one of my favourite spiritual seasons. See what I wrote about it last year... or the year before that... I love Lent!

Pace e bene,

The day after yesterday...

Ottawa was wallopped by another snowstorm yesterday. But it all balances out - today offered so much beauty. Here are a few neighbourhood scenes from the day after yesterday...

Happy shovelling!

Pace e bene,

Call it a lack of understanding...

I generally have a positive outlook on Life. I don't really get riled up too easily and, most of the time, I just accept that "it is what it is". However, there are a few things that I will never quite understand - and I've encountered several in the last couple of days. I guess you could call these my "pet peeves".

For the record, I will never understand:

• why people toss aside their lit cigarette butts... You never can tell where they will fall; for goodness sake, step on 'em at least!
• why people feel the need to launch a wicked gob of spit onto the sidewalk... Guys (as I suspect this is mostly a guy thing), contrary to what you might think, it's really not cool.
• why people are so obsessed with Britney Spears... Yowza! Leave her alone! If no one pays attention, maybe she'll just go away and be free to fix her life.
• why so many short people haven't figured out that, if you're using an umbrella on a crowded sidewalk, you need to lift and/or tilt when you meet someone coming in the opposite direction... My eyes may be weak, but I'd still like to keep them, thank you.
• why people stand in front of the door on the bus when it's not their stop - especially when there is an empty seat nearby... Get out of my way please!
• white sweat socks with black dress shoes OR black nylons with white pumps... need I say more?!

These are a few of my favourite things. Not!

What about you? What things will you never quite understand?!

Pace e bene,

Teachings from an unexpected source...

Teachers come in all shapes 'n sizes. Yesterday, she arrived packaged as a blind immigrant woman who needed help.

I was standing in line to get on the bus and a woman wearing dark glasses and using a cane stepped off. She then stood on the corner announcing to passersby: "I need help! I need help!" People looked, but no one stopped. I went up to her and asked where she needed to go. Turns out she needed to connect to another bus and the stop was a block away; she would also need to cross two streets to get there. "Take my arm. I'll walk you there," I said.

As we walked, she talked. Loudly. She told me of the eye infection that temporarily robbed her of her sight - even showing me her clouded eyeballs. She showed me the drops she needed to take. She told me that she lived with her father and that all they had was his old age pension cheque to live on. They received about $1000/month. Their rent was $973. They were immigrants, probably Haitian judging from her accent. She said sometimes people helped them. Sometimes not. "Here in Canada, about half the people are good. The other half are not-so-good. You, you are a good samaritan," she told me.

I got her onto her bus and asked the bus driver to help her out. Then I turned and walked away. Just like that. I hope she was able to reach her destination.

Later in the day, I was reflecting on this encounter. Here is what I learned from this small, blind, loud Teacher:

• Getting help can be as easy as asking for it, clearly and without hesitation. I've been procrastinating on a task for weeks because, quite honestly, I don't know how to go about doing it. The logical thing would be to ask for help. If I nudge pride & ego out of the way, I can do that.
• I need to look at the roots of my financial insecurity, which has been plaguing me lately. Compared to so many, I am rich beyond their imagination. There is so much for me to be grateful for.

I am grateful for this short episode in my day, and I pray that I may always remain teachable... Our Teachers walk among us; have you met one lately? I'd love to hear about it!

Pace e bene,

To eat... or not to eat...

In my last post, I listed all the main food/beverages that I have to say No Thanks! to for the next 10 - 14 days. Now it's time to celebrate what I can - and most likely will - eat in the days to come:

• YES to veggies (limitless) - broccoli, squash, cauliflower, peppers, celery, spinach, sweet potatoes, onions, carrots, just to name a few...
• YES to meat 'n fish - mostly chicken, wild salmon, tilapia...
• YES to legumes - bean salads, lentil soup...
• YES to grains - yeast-free kamut bread (I love this stuff!), quinoa, whole grain rice, whole wheat/kamut/spelt pasta (is that a grain?!), whole wheat tortilla wraps...
• YES to fruit 'n berries - although I should limit fruit to one or two pieces a day, due to their high natural sugar content...
• YES to nuts 'n seeds - almonds, pistachios, sunflower seeds...
• YES to eggs - mostly of the hard-boiled genre...

I've never been one to plan menus ahead of time, so I'm making an effort to keep primarily the YES foods around and create meals from those ingredients. Last evening, for example, I made a hearty lentil & vegetable soup and froze the left-overs; that'll give me at least two lunches. Then there's the beef stew, frozen from a couple of weeks ago. This morning's breakfast, as demonstrated in my photo above, was a delight in so many ways! FYI: Instead of using butter, I drizzle flax seed oil on my toast and sprinkle with cinnamon. Yum. "And what about that milk?" say you?! It's almond milk. Double Yum.

In case you're wondering what is behind all this effort, while on an extended sick leave in January 2006, an environmental allergist & homeopath helped me discover that I likely had an over-abundance of yeast in my body. After a strict dietary change and time to let my body detox, I began to experience good health in a way that I couldn't have imagined! Now, I keep watch of what I eat and every six months or so, I allow myself a nutritional detox process that also involves homeopathic remedy - just to give my liver a rest. And in the day-to-day, as much as possible, I avoid sugar, anything fermented as well as all things fungal (ie. mushrooms, old cheeses...), for these all encourage the growth of yeast in our bodies.

Interestingly, I experienced a vivid reminder of how my body can no longer tolerate concentrated amounts of sugar last week. Hubby & I tried out a new restaurant; the food was great and the desserts, well, irresistable. Knowing full well that it was a major cheat, I ordered a piece of homemade gingerbread cake soaked in maple-rum sauce. Exquisite! Within an hour, I had a headache that made me want to disappear into a quiet, dark space. I thought my head was caught in a vice. Quite the reminder! Garbage in; garbage out.

And that, my friends, brings our episode of jag's adventures in nutritional health to an end for today. Join us again next week as we... ah, never mind. :-)

Pace e bene,

Givin' the liver a rest...

JUST FOR TODAY…
· no yeast
· no dairy
· no sugar, honey, maple syrup
· no vinegars or fermented products (eg. soy sauce)
· no mushrooms
· no junk food (Good-bye Mr. Chips!)
· no processed (ie. canned, boxed, enveloped) food
· no coffee (incl. de-caf) or tea
· no alcohol

(... and for the next 10 - 14 "todays"!)

This is me, attempting the whole "accountability" thing. If I share my intention here, it'll be harder for me to cheat when I get there.

Pace e bene,

Beloved Chatters

“The happiest people are those who think the most interesting thoughts. Those who decide to use leisure as a means of mental development, who love good music, good books, good pictures, good company, good conversation, are the happiest people in the world. And they are not only happy in themselves, they are the cause of happiness in others.” - William Lyon Phelps

I'm heading off to bed, but I just have to share that I am feeling very blessed and grateful. I just got back from a soul nurturing evening with my friends, the Mad Chatters. I love them all... for their humour, for their courage, for their brilliance, for their willingness to show up 'n chat.

This evening, we shared on the books/films/people/experiences that have influenced us the most in 2007. It evolved into a conversation about defining moments... Nothing less than a thoroughly enjoyable and inspiring conversation!

Thanks Chatters - you guys rock! My life is fuller because of your presence in it...

Pace e bene,

Nobody's Mother...

“I am not childless by choice, although many of my choices have contributed to my being childless. I live with this as regret and blessing both, a point of chaos in my ordered life.” - Mary Jane Copps in Nobody’s Mother: Life Without Kids.

The fact that I do not have children is not something I talk about very often. It’s not even something I think about most of the time. Last year, a book review in the local paper caught my eye: Nobody’s Mother: Life Without Kids. I tore out the article, planning to look at it later and, as waywards bits of paper tend to do in my home, it eventually migrated to the office upstairs. A couple of weeks ago, it reappeared at the top of the heap as if to say: “Now would be a good time to read this.” I ordered it from the public library (I’m still on my self-imposed book buying moratorium) and read it over the past week.

Nobody’s Mother presents a series of essays from women who, for a myriad of reasons, have never borne children. They write with honesty, courage, humour and grace. In their words, I was able to find comfort and affirmation – things I didn’t even know I was needing. I was even able to find words that described the paradoxical feelings I have about being nobody’s mother. (See quote above by Mary Jane Copps.)

The reasons for my not having children are far to complex too post here; I’m not even sure I could describe the twists and turns that brought me to this point. The fact is: here I am. The beauty and strength of this book lie in its simple acceptance that reasons differ and – in the end – are quite irrelevant. It’s about accepting and celebrating the reality that is, and the fullness of a woman without kids of her own. This I can relate to!

Here are a few more quotes that resonated with me:

“Not every woman has to have children, you know.” – Lorna Crozier (comment from her mother)

“Physiologically, I am constructed so that I may incubate a fetus, or even a whole string of them, if I so choose. I will die one day, never having carried out the biological impetus of my being.” – Adrienne Munro (this thought – or some variation of it – crosses my mind about once a month! :-))

“If I am a vessel, I am full to overflowing with love and strength and the milk of human kindness. I have not borne a child, but I am a universal parent; in a hundred little ways my love can change the world.” – Adrienne Munro

“I am 42 years old. I have no children. I am very happy.” – Katherine Gordon

I make no judgement of friends and family members who have chosen - consciously or not - to have children... and I hope they make none of me. As I have mentioned here before, the important thing, I believe, is to live fully... to love wastefully... and to be courageously - one day at a time.

Pace e bene,

A milestone to light the way...

In October 2005, I told you that change IS within reach... Since then, I have posted several times about the phenomenal progress of Project Porchlight. Well, today marked another milestone: 1,000,000 energy efficient bulbs delivered! And they're not stopping there...

If ever you wonder whether one person, or one idea, can make a difference, you just have to look towards Porchlight for inspiration. The co-founder and Executive Director, and my friend, Stuart Hickox, pondered over a bottle of beer. "So, how hard can it be to get everyone in Canada to change one lightbulb?!" Little did he know at the time that his quest... his passion... his energy... and the support of his family & friends... would bring him to this point. Congrats Stuart! To you, Suzy, and to the thousands of people who made 1,000,000 bulbs delivered, a reality.

Pace e bene,

Random News Bytes

1) Hubby got back from Disney last evening, and I am now the proud owner of a pair of black sequined Minnie Mouse ears! How cool is that?! :-) I was wearing them at breakfast this morning. Hubby looked at me and just shook his head.

2) I was waiting in line at the coffee shop today. The guy in front of me asked for a "tall dark Mexican", paused, then chuckled. I started laughing along with him. The girl behind the counter didn't even crack a smile as she explained that they didn't sell "tall" sizes. He changed his order: "OK, I'll take a medium Mexican please... or at least his phone number." :-D

3) I've added a new "list" to my blog. Take a look on the right and you'll find Recently Played on my iPod. If you know of an artist, band or podcast that I really should listen to, lest my life remain incomplete, let me know!

Pace e bene,

Mondo Beyondo...

I've been making good use of my solo time by going to my favourite local coffee shop. Last evening, I spent close to two hours there, reflecting & writing. My sister is a strong believer in the power of writing things down in order to help make them happen. She's done it many times and it seems to work for her more often than not. I, on the other hand, have avoided clearly articulating what I want. Too scary. Too disappointing when it doesn't happen. Too limited in my imagination.

In comes Mondo Beyondo... Superhero style. Manifesting the experiences I want to experience... Dreaming the things I'm almost afraid of dreaming... Asking the Universe for the impossible...

I decided to give it a try. What have I to lose?! A couple of hours doodling in my notebook at the most. What have I to gain? Possibly, my wildest dreams.

Here goes, for the whole world to see... (well, OK, for the few people reading my blog to see... :-)), in no particular order:

>> Return to Italy for 1 - 3 months... learn the language!

>> Be debt-free (line of credit & credit card)

>> Be in a job-sharing situation, working for pay only 2-3 days a week

>> Girls' Disney Extravaganza with Sis, my Mom and my Mum-in-Law

>> Cross-Canada Road Trip with Hubby in our Mini Cooper

>> Hiking in the Scottish Highlands

>> Driving anywhere I damn well want to - no fear!

>> Having a house by the ocean

Believe it or not, I found this exercise very difficult. I found myself judging my own list: "Yawners! Have you no imagination?!" It was like opening a door that had rusted shut. But I gotta start somewhere and I cracked it open... and I can only hope that it'll get easier from here!

What would your Mondo Beyondo list look like?!

Pace e bene,

Disney on the run...

"I'm sorry, all of our cast members are busy making magical memories, please hold."

I just got off the phone with Hubby in Florida. As it turns out, their first two nights are at a different Disney property than expected, a couple of hours from Orlando. Poor guy, he's forced to stay at Disney's Vero Beach Resort located right on the ocean. Apparently he got a bit too much sun by the pool today. Ask me if I feel sorry for him. :-)

Tomorrow, they head to Orlando - staying at another Disney property not too far from the race location. Then early on Saturday, he runs the Disney Half-Marathon, from Epcot Center to the Magical Kingdom and back again. How cool is that?! I've never been to Disney World, but I remember the music and the images from all those Wonderful World of Disney episodes on TV. You remember, don't you? Can you hear it...? Maybe this will help!

Although certainly less exotic, I had a great run on the treadmill today. I think I've found the perfect running companion: Stuart McLean at the Vinyl Café. I now subscribe to the podcasts and found it was the perfect distraction from the tediousness of running on the treadmill. Who knew?!

Pace e bene,

Film Frenzy...

The wind has picked up... and the temperature has dropped. After 3 days of fog and rain, we may actually get to experience winter again. Hooray! It's January afterall... it's supposed to be snowy and cold. Of course, as I write this, Hubby is probably already wearing shorts and enjoying warm weather. He was offered an opportunity to go to Orlando, Florida and run in Saturday's Disney Half-Marathon. How could he say no?! Wouldn't it be great to be fit enough to run a half-marathon on a week's notice... :-) Have fun Babe - miss you already!!

While Hubby's away, I will likely continue to catch up on movies. I really enjoy going to the movie theatre and we're very fortunate here in Ottawa to have our own repertory cinema... great films for a great price!

Last weekend, I saw two films, both of them so different and both of them brilliant... On Saturday, we went to see Juno. There's a lot of buzz surrounding this film, and deservedly so. The dialogue is the quick & clever and the casting is inspired. Gotta give props to the high Canadian content in this film too: filmed in Vancouver, directed by Jason Reitman and starring Michael Cera and newcomer Ellen Page - Canadians all.

Then on Sunday, my favourite movie buddy, Ted, & I went to see The Diving Bell and the Butterfly. Great film telling the incredible true story of Jean-Dominique Bauby, a French magazine editor who suffered a debilitating stroke at the age of 42. The diving bell refers to his locked-in body, completely paralyzed except for his left eyelid. The butterfly represents his imagination - fully intact, active and able to carry him wherever he wants. He went on to dictate a best-selling book using only his eye. Incroyable! I was especially moved by back-to-back scenes of fathers & sons in reversed roles: sons becoming parent to the fathers. It immediately reminded me of a very personal image from the past: my husband feeding his father who was dying of cancer. (He died seven years ago today, in fact.) Needless to say, the tears were streaming down my cheeks...

Sooo, I'm flying solo for a few days and will likely focus on creating space for my 2008 intentions to take flight: creativity, connection, celebration.

Pace e bene,

On Being Human...

As I was cleaning out a small box of loose papers, I found a little card with this:

THE RULES FOR BEING HUMAN (source unknown)

1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it will be yours for the entire period this time around.

2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called Life. Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or think them irrelevant and stupid.

3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial and error known as experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiment that ultimately "works".

4. A lesson is repeated until learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can then go on to the next lesson.

5. Learning lessons does not end. There is no part of life that does not contain its lessons. If you are alive, there are lessons to be learned.

6. "There" is no better than "here". When your "there" has become a "here", you will simply obtain another "there" that will again look better than "here".

7. Others are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects something you love or hate about yourself.

8. What you make of yours is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours. It is permissible and encouraged to ask for help.

9. Your answers lie inside you. The answers to Life's questions lie inside you. All you need to do is look, listen and trust.

10. You will forget all this.

11. You can remember it whenever you want.

Considered it remembered, for today at least... :-)
Pace e bene,

Inspiring discoveries...

I was planning to go to bed early... honest, I was! But I decided to go surfing and see where I'd end up... (all part of making space to nurture my creativity :-)). Here are a few of the things that inspired me along the way:

The mobile phone salesman from South Wales

Low-tech web site - be sure to click on arrow at bottom right of screen

The Last Lecture

Superhero and her camera

What happened to the mobile phone salesman from South Wales

Time to call it a night... who knows what tomorrow will bring!

Pace e bene,

Signs, Signs, Everywhere... Signs

Yesterday's post on setting "goals" must have sent out a not-so-silent plea to the Universe for increased clarity! The number of "signposts" I have come across in the last 24 hours is astounding.

I started my work day with a visit to The Daily Motivator web site - today's focus was on failure. "Seek not to create failure, nor to avoid failure. Seek instead to allow failure, when it comes, to keep you moving on the path to greater success." Here, I was also reminded that "Comfort is a good state in which to find rest, renewal and refuge for a while. It is a dreary and dismal place to take up permanent residence." That really resonated with me...

Then, I tapped into a friend's online Musings. She compared starting the new year to the experience of cracking open a brand new book or - my favourite - to the memories of getting those brand new school supplies... empty and waiting to be filled and shaped.

THEN, I popped over to The Ripple Effect and was asked whether I was ready to embrace Life with arms wide open... Life will happen, with or without my cooperation. How do I want to receive it?

By this time, I was starting to gain clarity on three specific areas on which I'd like to focus in the coming year (beyond Living Fully... Loving Wastefully... and Being Courageously). I had lunch with a good friend and bounced my ideas off of him - my intial foray into accountability. The final kicker came in a coaching e-newsletter that I receive at work in the afternoon. I was invited to take a look at 5.75 Questions You've Been Avoiding by Michael Bungay Stanier at Box of Crayons. They confirmed what was beginning to take shape in my mind, especially Questions #1, #3 and #5. And so, in a bold act of accountability, I'm putting it out there - to you and to the Universe.

In 2008, I will focus on:

• Creativity
• Connection
• Celebration

I'm sure I'll be given guidance on more specific ways of nurturing each of these areas. All I need to do is Keep an Open Mind and Trust the Universe. I haven't been disappointed yet!

Pace e bene,

The best of intentions...

I'm feeling ill-equipped to start the new year on the right track. I had the best of intentions for things to do in the last two weeks, and I didn't do them... so what makes me think anything I write today will hold through the next year?!

I've been reflecting a bit on why I'm so adverse to setting goals, even small, simple ones. Here's how I see it today: if I set a goal, I become accountable - sometimes to others & always to myself. Then, if/when I don't accomplish my goal, I feel I have failed. In my weird mind, that translates to "I am a failure. I am a fraud." I am constantly setting myself up to do things, and then not doing them. The feeling of being a fraud can be quite strong sometimes. Isn't this a little harsh, you might ask? Of course! But how else am I supposed to maintain the illusion of competence and perfection that I have spent a lifetime creating?!! :-)

The level of awareness of how this all plays out in my life has been growing in the past couple of years. Recently, the arrogance of it all is also becoming clear to me. Who do I think I am that there is any expectation from others of perfection or competence in all things? The only person who expects that... is me. Luckily, "me" is also the only person I can change if I feel I really want to. I could also choose to simply accept the way I am - and work with that.

So, back to the goals. My sister shared that language is important to her, and that she avoids the word "goal". I've often admired how she's able to set intentions for herself... or areas of focus. This seems to be a gentler language, because it doesn't imply a task that must be completed. I like that. Seems like a kinder, softer way of directing energy towards a specific area of my life - which is basically the same thing as "setting a goal", non?

Although his approach is certainly more action-oriented, Steve at The Ripple Effect also gives me food for thought in his post on New Year's Resolution... He suggests limiting the number I set for myself, as well as making accoutability work for me (instead of against me, as in the judge-and-jury scenario I am most familiar with).

Funny thing just happened... as I'm writing this, I am reminded of an intention that I had set for myself several years ago, sort of a personal mission. It was inspired by something I read in Why Christianity Must Change or Die, but John Shelby Spong. I had "decided" that my life purpose was to: Live fully... Love wastefully... Be courageously... I haven't thought about that in a while. Might this be a good start for determining the areas where I want to focus my energy?

Live fully: Practice acceptance, gratitude and balance...
Love wastefully: Err on the side of Love. Love people, even when I'm not sure they "deserve" it. Put myself on the top of that list...
Be courageously: Be in the moment, even when I'd rather be somewhere else. Make room for Faith, for Faith is stronger than Fear.

There you have it, something for me to think about - one day at a time...

Here's wishing you much Love and Peace as this new year begins. Know that, although I don't always take the time to say it, you are important to me and I treasure your presence in my life. You know who you are. (Yes, it's you... :-))

Pace e bene,

Merry... Happy... Blessed...

Dear Friends,

As Christmas Day draws near, I recognize the abundance in my life and I give thanks...
...for my family
...for my health
...for meaningful work
...for a beautiful, quirky home
...for my friends, near & far
...for the presence of a Loving God in my life

Here's wishing you all the Love, Peace, Joy & Faith this season truly represents!
For a special greeting from Hubby & me, click here - enjoy!
Pace e bene,

Fulfilling its iPurpose...

That tiny, wafer-thin piece of technology has fulfilled its iPurpose today... For the first time, I used it while running on the dreaded treadmill - a.k.a. "the dreadmill".

Last winter, it became clear to me that I am a fair-weather runner. Of course, it helped that we didn't get any snow until January. But that is certainly not the case this year!! Winter doesn't officially begin until this coming weekend, but I just finished shovelling our driveway yet AGAIN. The snow banks on either side of the path are higher than my waist, which makes shovelling a little challenging. Don't get me wrong - it's absolutely beautiful! I'll take this winter wonderland over rain or a greenish-brown Christmas any day. And, although I love walking in this weather, I'm none too crazy about running in it. Hence, the dreadmill...

Last winter, I found running on the treadmill excrutiatingly boring, and quickly found excuses to avoid it. That's when I first heard the whisper of the iPod: "I could make this bearable..." I have to admit, it was! It was an exercise in humility though. At one point at the gym today, I was in the groove: I had a good rhythm going... good posture... good pace... I may even have looked sorta cool. That's when my hand got caught in the wire for my earplugs and the iPod came tumbling off the little ledge. I bobbled it from hand to hand as I tried to catch it. Of course, a treadmill doesn't stop or slow down when you lose your stride. It becomes the enemy.

I managed a quick little triple step and a little lunge to the left, then regained my balance without being flung against the back wall of the gym. Phewf - that was close! Who's looking cool now?! :-) Oh, to be humbled by a treadmill... To think these guys make it look so easy!

Pace e bene,

A (snowy) Day in the Life...

Before the run...
During the run...

After the run...
Sunday brunch at The Diner...
Digging out...

Angels fly... and all is well!

Pace e bene,

And the honour goes to...

... Bruce Guthro, and his 2005 recording "A Beautiful Life"! Yes, Bruce has the honour of being my first musical download onto my new iPod. (By the way, if you doubt that I am truly a newbie, it was pointed out to me that I misspelled "iPod" in my previous post. I rest my case. :-)) Bruce Guthro is a masterful singer/songwriter from Cape Breton. His stories-set-to-music are a mix of folk, jazz with a hint of traditional East Coast melodies. You can't really peg him down to one style. I'm not really into music that much, but he's certainly one of my faves! He's best experienced during a live performance, with his storytelling and unmistakeable Cape Breton sense of humour.

I'm also quite fascinated with the wide range of podcasts - it's amazing what they have out there! I could easily become overwhelmed with the info that's out there... sorta like blogs - so many blogs, so little time! Add podcasts to the mix, and my head may just well explode.

So, I survived the first lesson! S'cuse me while I go shopping at the iTunes Store...
Pace e bene,

T'is the season...?

"Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink,

taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each." - Thoreau

I have this quote on a print in my meditation room. Lately, I find myself reading it daily and appreciating its profound wisdom. T'is the season, as the saying goes... but what season is it exactly?! I have been unable to latch onto the Christmas cheer so far. To be honest, I am dismayed at what this time of year has become. It is so drenched in consumerism and political correctness, I almost feel like turning my back on it completely. Were it not for the messages beyond the hype... hope, peace, faith, joy. Advent - waiting and preparing for a new way.

As I go through yet another "season" of my own, I can acknowledge its influences. Right now, I am being lead to a time of rest, of strengthening, of returning to my source of Being. And it's not easy to do when the world around me is rushing around, frantically preparing for Christmas celebrations. Somehow, I don't think God will care that I don't have a Christmas tree... or a Crèche... or red velvet bows, shiny decorations and homemade baking. And I need to let that be OK within myself. Therein lies the challenge.

On a lighter note, I celebrated a birthday this past week. And Hubby has taken it upon himself to bring me - kicking & screaming - into the 21st century by buying me an IPod... a beautiful red one! I don't know the first thing about how to load it up and am looking forward to my first lesson later this evening. I really am quite a techno-peasant (despite having my own blog). I look forward to seeing how this tiny piece of technology will enhance my quest for health & balance and pray that I don't become one of those people who are constantly "wired for sound" and therefore absent from the present moment. I need to accept that, on its own, the technology is not bad - it all depends on how I use it. Wish me luck!

Pace e bene,

Images of Philly...

For those of you who have been waiting with bated breath :-) I finally got around to adding a few pics to my earlier posts from Philly. Scroll down a bit and check 'em out! Also, in August 2005, I wrote this post about my discovery of Philadelphia's amazing mural arts program. Here are a few of the ones I was able to see this time 'round.

Murals often commemorate local celebs, such as Patti Labelle (mural #2) and Herman Wrice (mural #3).




Pace e bene,

Walking, Philly-style...

What a great day! Weather sucked, but what a great day! Cold, damp, drizzly weather didn't stop us from walking close to 9km today. We had a few places we knew we wanted to go, and it turned out to be a well-paced itinerary (although it sorta morphed along the way).

We started by going to the Franklin Institute Science Museum. I was intrigued by a special exhibit that opened there last week on Identity. We also took the time to take part in a time-honoured tradition: walking through The Giant Heart. :-) Our timing there allowed us to see one of the shows at the Fels Planetarium. Very cool!

By this time, it was just around lunch time and we decided to make one last visit to the Reading Terminal Market. The food on the train is so horrible, so we're bringing more with us this time. I stood in line at the most popular butcher counter in the market for close to 20 minutes. That place was bustlin'! I could totally picture myself as a resident stopping by to get my week's supply of food. I started chatting with another fellow who was waiting. I learned that he was 57 years old... that he's been coming to this market since the 60's... that he's been coming to this butcher for 4 years... that he and his wife don't eat red meat... that he'd done some crazy stuff in his youth ("the whole 60's drug scene, y'know?") but that health was very important to him now... Amazing what you can learn while waiting for the butcher to call your number!

Back to our "apartment" for a quick lunch before heading towards our next destination: Antique Row. Many of the shops were closed - and perhaps that's a good thing! - but the architecture was just delightful! Beautiful laneways lined with attractive "brownstones" and paved with cobblestone. Much to my delight, we also stumbled upon a work of art I had seen during my first visit to Philly in 2005: the amazing mosaic art of Isaiah Zagar. I couldn't remember the artist's name, nor the location of his main masterpiece... yet I remembered it. Funny how I just "happened" upon it anyway. :-)

We enquired about local coffee shops. One shop owner directed us to The Chapterhouse, an independantly owned coffeehouse and art gallery. How perfect! I sipped on a ginger tea as we warmed up before heading back out to catch a movie. On our bus tour, we had noticed a movie theatre that seemed to be showing an interesting slate of films. We decided to go see the early showing of Into the Wild. The Ritz 5 Theatre was delightful: small... quiet... a breath of fresh air. Rather than blaring loud pop music and showing stupid celebrity quiz questions on the screen prior to the start of the movie, we were treated to classical music, opera arias and a "slide show" of works of art on the screen. The film? If you haven't seen this yet, I would highly recommend it! It's definitely a "big screen" film with stunning cinematography. Inspired by a true story, the film is thought-provoking and very engaging. Although it's over two hours long, not once did I look at my watch or feel that it was dragging on. A story worth hearing...

We walked back and are now preparing for our early morning departure. Our train leaves at 5:50am. Luckily, there will be plenty of time for sleeping later in the day. :-) And so, this is jag, signing off from Philly... See you back in Ottawa!

Pace e bene,

Brief Race Brief...

The sun has barely cleared the horizon, although we can't see it behind the clouds. It's cold. And windy. And close to 10,000 runners have are lined up along Ben Franklin Blvd. to run a marathon, a half-marathon or an 8K (5-miler). First to go are the marathoners & half-marathoners. The theme song from Rocky blares out of the loud speaker and the crowd roars as the start of the race is signalled.

And thus began my day... Well, actually, my day began a couple of hours before the 7:15am race start time. Much to my surprise, I was even awake! :-)

I am happy to report that I successfully completed my first 8K race! I felt quite good throughout and could even have pushed a little harder. However, I wasn't sure if I'd have enough juice to get me to the finish line, so I ran at a cautious pace at the beginning. My final chip time was 51:43. I met my first goal of getting through in less than an hour, and just missed my second - more silent - goal of trying to finish in 50 minutes. The scary thing is after it was all over, I found myself thinking "Hey, if I can run 8K, then I can probably run 10K..." But not this week! Perhaps it's a good goal to set for the spring. Originally, I had thought I could run a 10K race this fall, but I hardly ran all summer. This opportunity to run 8K presented itself and it turned out to be a good stepping stone.

I'm proud to report that Hubby successfully completed his 11th marathon! The official results haven't been posted yet, so we don't know his exact chip time. However, he believes it will be around 3:45:00. His Boston Qualifying time (BQ) remains elusive and he looks forward to trying again next year for Boston 2009. He experienced problems with his hip flexor and ended up having to walk approximately 4kms; that's a guaranteed slow-down. He finished strong though, running the last 5kms. I managed to see him and cheer him on twice on the route.

Due to the unseasonably cold weather, we didn't stick around for long after he crossed the Finish Line. I had already been waiting around outside for close to 3 hours. After a few minutes to allow Hubby to quickly change into dry clothes, we walked the 2 km back to our hotel.

Needless to say, the rest of our afternoon in our "little apartment" was pretty relaxed. We went out for dinner and are back in for the evening. Tomorrow is our last day to take in some of what Philadelphia has to offer. Yesterday, we took a city bus tour and that really gave us a lay of the land. Now that the race is over, we can use this time to stretch our legs and feast our senses...



pace e bene,

Welcome to Philly...

"Railway termini are our gates to the glorious and the unknown. Through them we pass out into adventure and sunshine, to them, alas! we return." G. K. Chesterton

Spirit and body have survived the 14-hour + train trip to Philadelphia! We arrived just before midnight on Thursday. I look forward to seeing Philly's 30th Street Station again on Tuesday when we leave; I was just too tired to take in its architectural glory last night.

We got an unexpected treat in Montreal on Thursday morning. Due to a change in the Amtrak schedule, we had to go to Montreal the night before in order to be sure to catch our train. As a result of that, I was able to connect with my cousin Sylvia who lives in New Brunswick and was arriving in Montreal for a conference. We only saw each other for a few minutes, like passing trains, but it was enough to get a hug and quickly catch up. It wouldn't have been possible without the change in Amtrak schedule - sometimes, the reason for things is not immediately revealed to us. :-)

The trip from Montreal to NYC went by pretty quickly actually. We were stopped at the Canada/US border for about 90 minutes though. The US border patrol guys came on board and basically took over the train until every single person's ID had been confirmed and intentions cleared. It was quite interesting to watch them do their work. The guy who questioned us didn't crack a smile once! I know they have to remain serious, but even when his words appeared to be tinged with humour, his facial expressions remained deadpan.

If, for whatever reason, they wanted to question you more, you were sent to the Dining Car for further "inquisition" (my word, not theirs). I felt bad for a woman travelling with two small children. English was not her first languange and, from what I could gather, she didn't have proper ID for her children. Before leaving Montreal, information was given to us clearly stating that it was up to us to ensure our documentation was in order. If not, we risked being let off the train at the border. All I know is that the woman was sent to the Dining Car, then came back to retrieve all her luggage. Oy. I said a silent prayer for her...

The trip was quite uneventful. We'd get up every now & then and walk around or stretch. The views were beautiful sometimes and unspectacular much of the time. It was a true November day: grey... wet... with bare trees etch-a-sketched against a cold sky.

Our train leaving Penn Station in NYC was delayed by about 10 minutes. Interestingly, there is no seating in the waiting areas, so we sat on the floor or stood around - like everybody else. Finally, our train arrived. By then, my body was expressing its disagreement with sitting yet again. I was so fidgetty and restless and sleepy during this last leg of the journey... I was thrilled to arrive in Philly.

Our hotel is perfectly located in the downtown core, just across the street from City Hall. Our room is great - like a little apartment really. Reading Terminal Market is just a couple of blocks away, so I've already stocked up on veggies, yogourt & humus. (BTW, I'm SUPER impressed with this market. I'll no doubt have more to say later. In the meantime, see a short video here.)

Today, we went to the Race Expo to pick up our race bibs and a few souvenirs. We're both beat so Hubby is napping on the couch and I'm here, blogging. I'll add pics to the blog post when I get back. Unfortunately, I forgot the cable required to do that. Tonite, we're just going to relax in our little "apartment" and get to bed early. Race day begins before the sun rises, so we need to ensure we get plenty of rest between now and then.
View from our bedroom window - 21 floors up!
So, for now, I'll bid you farewell from Philly!
Pace e bene,

First stop...

...Montreal.

We arrived on the evening train to a dark and wet Montreal. Since the hotel was only a few blocks away from the train station, we decided to walk. Little did I suspect that we'd get caught in a downpour! But we made it...

We had dinner at a place called Reuben's Diner on Saint-Catherine. I wasn't overly hungry, yet I still managed to pull a muscle in my jaw while eating. What the heck is up with that?!

There you have it. Our adventure is only a few hours old, and I've already pulled a muscle and walked through puddles resulting in soaking wet feet. Isn't Life grand?!! :-)

Hubby & I haven't taken a vacation together this year. Yet. This is it and I'm thrilled...

Next stop... Philly (via NYC)!

Pace e bene,

On your mark... Get set...

...and a new adventure begins!

We leave for Montreal tomorrow, stay overnight, then it's a morning train to Philadelphia (transfering in NYC). That's a LOT of hours on a train! Luckily, I love train travel. It's just so civilized. I only wish train travel in Canada could be as affordable as it is in Italy or even in the US. Round trip tickets for two, from Montreal to Philadelphia, cost us under $300 - total! We can't even get to Cobourg (3 hours away) for that price... It's absolutely ridiculous.

While in Philly, Hubby will be running the Philadelphia Marathon and I'll be doing the 8K race. Send good vibes our way! Remember, I'm running for one boy, one van. I'll likely post once or twice while we're away, just to stay in touch. :-)

Other than that, here is a cool site that will feed the hungry AND make you smarter. Thanks to fellow Mad Chatter, Ted, for passing this one on!

And many thanks to Sis for providing an answer to my long-standing question about pomegranates. Who knew it could be so easy?!

Pace e bene,

Running on...

Something really weird and - dare I say it - exciting happened to me during my run today. For the first time that I can remember, I felt like I could keep on running! I was out during my lunch hour, so I had a set route and timeframe. When I reached the end of my run, I was disappointed that I had to stop... What's THAT all about?!! Usually, I'm struggling to get to the end, but not today. I guess the energy was simply available to me. I'm grateful for that feeling...

I had a wonderful run of about 35 minutes. I'm so fortunate to work downtown, with access to such beautiful running routes. I ran across the river to the Quebec side and followed the Voyageur Pathway to the Museum of Civilization. Then I crossed back to Ottawa with the amazing view of the back of Parliament Hill. I slipped down to the Rideau Canal Locks, crossed the Canal and headed towards the National Arts Centre. You can see exactly where I ran here. (I don't know who this photographer is, but I appreciate that he pretty much photographed my run! :-)) From there, I simply set out along Albert St. towards Bridgehead Coffeehouse, my final destination. See a map of my full route here.

All this bodes well for Philadelphia next weekend... and for Geordi and his van.

Pace e bene,

Small joys...

Sometimes it doesn't take much to make me smile and feel content, despite feeling tired. Here are two things that made me smile tonite:

Laverne & Shirley: I've discovered that they're back... in re-runs of course! This was one of my favourite shows and I've long been on the look-out for a DVD set of this show. Evenings at 6:30pm, I know what I'll be doing... By now, the tune is probably already playing in your head. Go on, admit it. You don't know what they say after they count either! 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8... Shlamiel... Shlamozzle...

Andy McKee: I discovered this guy while traipsing around YouTube one day. I bookmarked this particular video and have often gone back to listen in amazement. Treat yourself to a four-minute break and listen for yourself. I wish I could make my guitar sing like that! I s'pose some gifts are simply meant for others to have... and for us to enjoy.

Pace e bene,

What Love Does...

There's just something about Love...

I spent the weekend with 300 friends and, by the end of it, I was high on Love. I don't mean romantic love, I mean the kind of Love that connects us at levels we rarely pay attention to... the kind of Love that we don't like to talk about because it sounds too "corny" and it makes us squirm... the kind of Love that gives meaning to human interconnectedness... the kind of Love that makes romantic love possible in the first place... the kind of Love that comes without conditions.

I have the pleasure of belonging to a spiritual fellowship that is guided by twelve simple steps. Simple, but not easy. Whenever I spend time in the presence of people who have the courage to follow this way of life, I am replenished by that unconditional Love. There was a time when I didn't really have enough Love to give to those around me - or to myself. I was deeply wounded and had lost touch with unconditional Love. I truly believe that my Friends in Fellowship loved me back to health. This past weekend reminded me of that gift.

A couple of years ago, I was at a 2-day workshop on Leadership. We were asked: "What gift are you withholding?" I still remember my answer: Love. Well on the road to recovery by then, I believed - and still do - that we withhold Love at our peril. This message was reinforced by His Holiness the Dalai Lama at his recent public talk. He spoke of the two keys to a truly global citizenship as being the development of a holistic mind and a compassionate heart. To me, this means the development of our interconnectedness and our willingness to Love.

When I remember that my Life overflows with unconditional Love, even the darkest days offer a glimmer of hope...

Love does that.

Pace e bene,

Running for a van...

"When the solution is simple, God is answering." -- Albert Einstein.

...and the answer I received is "Get out of your own head and take a look at what's going on around you." Simple solution indeed.

I was inspired by several stories I read in the newspaper this past weekend. One in particular moved me to take action. Stick with me on this...

Amanda George is a local woman, a single mom (widow) raising two kids. Her youngest one, Geordi, has special needs. Geordi was born with severe cerebral palsy, scoliosis, an abnormally small skull and a seizure disorder. As a result of unbelievably tight muscles and dislocated hips, his body does not bend. He has a wheelchair that allows him to always be reclined. Problem is, the chair doesn't fit in a car. To go anywhere, Amanda George has to carry her 12-year old son. Amanda George needs a van... and she's gathered up the courage to ask for help.

As I went for a run on a beautiful Sunday morning, the story of this gutsy family stayed with me. I reflected on how difficult it has been for me to get motivated to get out and run. The motivation just wasn't coming from within... so I decided to get out of my head and give myself a reason to run. Are you still with me??

I'm registered to run an 8Km race in Philadelphia on November 18th. (Hubby is running the marathon.) I've never run 8Km before... and I'd like to run this race for Geordi's Van. I want to finish the race in less than an hour. I run 5Km in about 30 minutes at race pace, so factor in fatigue, and I think that's do-able... if I train and build up my stamina. For every minute BELOW an hour, I'll donate 10$ to one boy one van. Can you see where I'm goin' here?!

Will you join me? Not in running :-) but in helping Geordi and his family get their van. You may choose to pledge an amount per minute below an hour, as I have done. Or, you may prefer to simply make a donation. If you can't participate in this way, please keep us all in your prayers... especially on November 18th!

Read the story the inspired me here.
Find out how to donate here.

Pace e bene,

Finding joy in Anne...

"I am well in body although considerably rumpled up in spirit, thank you, ma'am."

Ah yes, no one can tell it like it is quite like Anne Shirley... Anne (spelled with an e), otherwise known as Anne of Green Gables.

While in Italy this past summer, I met a lovely woman named Ann; she was from Oslo, Norway. When she found out I was from Canada, she immediately said: "Anne of Green Gables! This is my dream, one day, to go to Canada and visit Green Gables!!" I was struck with the intensity of her desire. I think she planted a seed... it would soon be time for me to rediscover the charm and exuberance of the little red-haired girl from PEI.

I picked up the book on the weekend and devoured it, almost as if for the first time. It truly is a laugh-out-loud kinda book, and as I began to read some of the familiar stories, I would giggle in anticipation of what I knew was to come. How can one forget Diana getting drunk on the "raspberry cordial"? Other long-forgotten stories came as a surprise and I took great delight in becoming reacquainted with them.

Next year is the 100th anniversary of the publication of Anne of Green Gables. Lucy Maud Montgomery's writing is timeless... as alive and colourful today as it was a century ago. If, like me, your copy of Anne has been gathering dust on a shelf somewhere, do yourself a big favour. Take it down, brush it off, grab a comfy blanket and settle down for a wonderful read.

Allow me to leave you with a sampling of my favourite phrases...

"There's such a lot of different Annes in me. I sometimes think that is why I'm such a troublesome person. If I was just the one Anne it would be ever so much more comfortable, but then it wouldn't be half so interesting."

"Oh Marilla, I'm so glad to live in a world where there are Octobers. It would be terrible if we just skipped from September to November, wouldn't it?"

"If you'll only call me Anne spelled with an e I shall try to reconcile myself to not being called Cordelia."

"I'm so glad my window looks east into the sunrising. (...) It's new every morning, and I feel as if I washed my very soul in that bath of earliest sunshine."

"Isn't it good just to be alive on a day like this? I pity the people who aren't born yet for missing it. They may have good days, of course, but they can never have this one."

Pace e bene,

Swimmingly...

Today is another day, and I am encouraged to honour where I'm at. For today, that means in a place of low energy and indecision. Thanks to those of you who sent messages of support. I am reminded that I can choose to be alone - I may even feel alone at times - but I'm not. Like the fish who is unaware of the water around him, I swim in a deep ocean of love & friendship. And for that, I am grateful.

I'm posting a couple of photos that make me smile. This is Sis & me. We had our photo taken by a professional photographer, Bonnie Findley, as a gift for my parents' 45th wedding anniversary. We had so much fun during the photo shoot... I just have to look at these and I can hear us laughing and giggling as Bonnie prompted us to "work it, girls!". :-) We'd just look at each other and burst out laughing. "Huh? Work it?! How the heck do we do that?!!" It was a fun time...

Pace e bene,

Being where I'm at...

Yeah. I know. It's been a while...

I've been laying very, very low lately. My energy cycle is at a low point and I've been limiting my activities to a minimum. I'm not quite sure how to deal with it, or talk about it, or even be OK with it. I've gotten into some bad habits and am trying not to be overly judgemental about it. Thing is, are these really habits truely "bad"? Or, are they where I need to be right now? Are they simply choices that are not in my best health interest right now? Or, am I being over-analytical about how I'm spending my time? (I suspect this last one to be truest...)

What are these so-called "bad" habits, you may wonder? Probably not-so-bad, actually. But I know they are not supportive of a return to full health and energy. Habits like:

• skipping my regular grounding practices, such as meditation and exercise...
• procrastinating on commitments I've made to others - and to myself...
• not checking email for fear of what I might find there (ie. more stuff I need to do)...
• sitting in front of the TV for hours at a time, watching something - or nothing...
• isolating myself...
• not blogging regularly (ie. getting out of my head)...
• eating copious amounts of potato chips...
• not sticking to my optimum diet (ie. eating things that I know are toxic to my body)...

A while back, a friend of my sister's shared some wisdom she had received and wrote this on her blog:

Fatigue can do many things including making us feel old and spent when really we're not. When really we're vibrant, beautiful and ambitious, yearning for the excitement and challenge that feeds our soul. When really all we might need is a few good nights' sleep, nutritious food to replenish our bodies (preferably prepared for us by someone else!) and walks along the Canal. When really we could use unscheduled, free time to explore possibilities, be, and dream up our next adventures. Yup ... fatigue will curb that in a flash!

Those words ring so true for me...

Whether I call it fatigue, low energy, low-grade depression, or whatever, one thing I know for sure. It sucks. And I need to trust that this too shall pass...

Pace e bene,