Thursday, October 11, 2007

Being where I'm at...

Yeah. I know. It's been a while...

I've been laying very, very low lately. My energy cycle is at a low point and I've been limiting my activities to a minimum. I'm not quite sure how to deal with it, or talk about it, or even be OK with it. I've gotten into some bad habits and am trying not to be overly judgemental about it. Thing is, are these really habits truely "bad"? Or, are they where I need to be right now? Are they simply choices that are not in my best health interest right now? Or, am I being over-analytical about how I'm spending my time? (I suspect this last one to be truest...)

What are these so-called "bad" habits, you may wonder? Probably not-so-bad, actually. But I know they are not supportive of a return to full health and energy. Habits like:
  • skipping my regular grounding practices, such as meditation and exercise...
  • procrastinating on commitments I've made to others - and to myself...
  • not checking email for fear of what I might find there (ie. more stuff I need to do)...
  • sitting in front of the TV for hours at a time, watching something - or nothing...
  • isolating myself...
  • not blogging regularly (ie. getting out of my head)...
  • eating copious amounts of potato chips...
  • not sticking to my optimum diet (ie. eating things that I know are toxic to my body)...
A while back, a friend of my sister's shared some wisdom she had received and wrote this on her blog:

Fatigue can do many things including making us feel old and spent when really we're not. When really we're vibrant, beautiful and ambitious, yearning for the excitement and challenge that feeds our soul. When really all we might need is a few good nights' sleep, nutritious food to replenish our bodies (preferably prepared for us by someone else!) and walks along the Canal. When really we could use unscheduled, free time to explore possibilities, be, and dream up our next adventures. Yup ... fatigue will curb that in a flash!

Those words ring so true for me...

Whether I call it fatigue, low energy, low-grade depression, or whatever, one thing I know for sure. It sucks. And I need to trust that this too shall pass...

Pace e bene,

2 comments:

lala said...

Hey Jo,

From all the way over here, I just wanted to wish you well and remind you that you are not alone.

I understand your feelings, and I accept them to be how you are feeling right at this moment. Give yourself the same space and love... let yourself recharge. Let yourself be.

In the space that you give yourself, in the now, you'll find the answers that you need. Don't push for them. They'll come.

And in the meantime, give yourself a big hug.

Lisa xo

Steph said...

Sending you many good and peaceful vibes ...

Sis
xox