Listening to Life...

"If we can't take the time out of our lives to stay a moment and listen to one of the best musicians on Earth play some of the best music ever written; if the surge of modern life so overpowers us that we are deaf and blind to something like that, then what else are we missing?" - Gene Weingarten

I was reading the Sunday edition of the Ottawa Citizen and got pulled into an article entitled "maestro in the metro". Condensed from an article in Washington Post, it's about an experiment where Joshua Bell, an internationally acclaimed classical violinist, played his Stradivarius in the D.C. Metro station for 45 minutes - busking incognito. Turns out very few busy D.C. bureaucrats took the time to stop and listen... One of the highlights for me was the author's exploration of the value of beauty. "If a great musician plays great music but no one hears... was he really any good?"

Admittedly, I'm also intrigued by the effect of this experiment on Bell's ego. When given a stage, people will pay $100 and more to hear him; put him in a ball cap and jeans during morning rush hour and even a masterfully crafted 18th-century instrument isn't enough to get people to take notice. Except for the children, it seems... the article points out that "every time a child walked past, he or she tried to stop and watch. And every single time, a parent scooted the kid away."

This article seems to have generated quite a buzz in the blogosphere, from critics & fans alike. You can read a bit more about the author's intentions in this transcript of an online chat. And in case you are wondering, Bell made a whopping $32.17 (not including $20 from the lone commuter who actually recognized him). I'm sure he'll get over it. Just last week, he accepted the Avery Fisher Prize for outstanding achievement in classical music. It comes with a $75,000.00 cheque.

I don't know classical music that well and, until reading this article, had never heard of Joshua Bell. However, it seems I have, in fact, heard his music many times... He is the man behind the music of one of my favourite films, The Red Violin.

What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.
- from Leisure by W.H. Davies

PAX,

Wishing you PAX...

A friend once asked me about the way I sign off on emails & blog posts: "PAX". She asked me what it stood for, perhaps thinking it was an acronym of some sort. Someone else in cyberworld recently seems to have misunderstood my use of the word, thinking it was my name. So I thought I'd explain...

PAX is the latin word for peace. In Roman mythology, Pax is also recognized as the goddess of Peace, one of the minor deities in the roman pantheon. When I sign off using this word, it is my way of wishing you Peace, even if it's just for a moment.

On this Holy Saturday, this wish seems especially fitting. In the Easter story, today represents the time when Jesus lay in the tomb. The world must have appeared particularly dark & troubling to his followers. How confused they must have been! Like so many of us, it must have been a struggle to continue to believe... to have faith... But as is told in many of the wisdom traditions, darkness and death often preceeds renewal and transformation. Nature also tells us this story time & time again. The caterpillar must spend time in a dark place in order to become a butterfly... The seed must die in order to produce the shoot...

And so, on this day which symbolizes those times in our life when we experience darkness and unknowing, it seems fitting to simply wish you...

PAX,

A story that keeps on telling...

Here we are, sitting in the paradox of Good Friday once again. After meditating this morning, I sat and read the story of Jesus' crucifixion from the Gospel of John. How many times have I heard/read that story?! Yet this time, I was given new clarity surrounding one of its many messages. Here is what I heard: we fear what we do not understand... we reject what we fear... what we reject, we in fact, kill.

As usual, I prayed to be shown the relevance of the message to my life. No answer has come yet; it rarely happens that quickly or conveniently. :-) Although I suspect it has to do with the ever-growing realization of the role fear has played - and continues to play - in my life.

This story begs the questions:

• What do I fear?
• What do I reject as a result of that fear?
• What opportunities or possibilities have I killed as a result of that rejection?

The wisdom contained in the Christian stories never ceases to amaze me. Being raised as a Catholic, my knowledge of spiritual texts is limited to those of my faith tradition. And even that knowledge is not very deep. I can only imagine the wisdom to be found in sacred text from other religions too. Although somehow, I suspect they all point to the same fundamental truth: Love triumphs over fear.

PAX & Love to you this Easter weekend,

Going to the birds...

I pray to the birds.
I pray to the birds because I believe they will carry the messages of my heart upward.
I pray to them because I believe in their existence, the way their songs begin and end each day–the invocations and the benedictions of Earth.
I pray to the birds because they remind me of what I love rather than what I fear.
And at the end of my prayers, they teach me how to listen.
–Terry Tempest Williams

I dedicate this poem to my Mom, who still teaches me how to listen to the birds...

PAX,

Celebrating what is right...

At work, I set aside a minimum of 90 minutes a week for what I call "self-directed learning". This is a time for me to focus on my own development, professional & personal. This week, I decided to Celebrate What's Right with the World. This is a powerful DVD featuring long-time National Geographic photographer, Dewitt Jones. What a message! It's all about looking for possibility and recognizing abundance. It is everywhere. Everywhere. If I believe that, I will see it. The choice is mine.

The story that struck me the most was the one about Marion Campbell, a Scottish woman reknowned for her weaving. Decorated by royalty, and sought out for her talent, Jones went looking to photograph her and seek out her much talked about wisdom. When he asked her "What do you think about when you weave?", she answered: "I wonder if I'll run out of thread." Disappointed by this seemingly mundane answer, Jones' face must have shown it. She simply added: "When I weave, I weave."

Wow - talk about wisdom! When I weave, I weave. That is who I am, in truth and in simplicity. In the moment.

When I write, I write.
When I love, I love.
When I create, I create.
When I run, I run.
When I learn, I learn.

I could go on... The message to me is, when I am present to what I am doing in the moment, I will discover ample opportunity to celebrate what is right with the world. And from that place, the world will radiate with possibility.

Celebrate what's right in your world, and you will transform it. Don't keep it to yourself though - everyone loves to join in on a celebration... What will you celebrate today?

PAX,

Bear. With Me.

Hubby was out of town last weekend. He was busy posting yet another personal best at the historic Around the Bay road race in Hamilton. Last year, he came in 2385th out of 4110 runners. Granted, he did not have a good race in 2006. But this year, after focussing on his training in a BIG way, he finished an astounding 268th out of 4369 runners. By finishing the 30km distance in less that 2:15, he merited a shiny silver medal! His final chip time was 2:12:26 and I'm very proud of him.

It's amazing how we get comfortable having that special someone around. Even for just a few nights alone, I found myself reaching for a faithful friend. Known simply as "Bear", he's been in my life for over 30 years. His nose is missing, his fur is clumped and his eyes look downright evil, but he's been with me even when life wasn't so pretty.

Bear was even kidnapped in 1985-1986. I'm afraid it was my fault, since I brought him into university residence in the first place. After being missing for two days or so, I found him bound and gagged, along with Celia Jenny (my Cabbage Patch kid), in my closet. But he was alive... traumatized, but alive!

Interestingly, Hubby's been back since Monday, but Bear is still managing to squeeze into bed with me. It's wonderful to re-discover a sqooshy old friend!

Bear. With Me. Through Thick. And Thin.

PAX,

It's in the air...

Something to look forward to... t'is the season!

METAMORPHOSIS

Always it happens when we are not there —
The tree leaps up alive into the air,
Small open parasols of Chinese green
Wave on each twig. But who has ever seen
The latch sprung, the bud as it burst?
Spring always manages to get there first.

Lovers of wind, who will have been aware
Of a faint stirring in the empty air,
Look up one day through a dissolving screen
To find no star, but this multiplied green,
Shadow on shadow, singing sweet and clear.
Listen, lovers of wind, the leaves are here.

– May Sarton

Just another day... or not.

If you've ever thought "Ah, it's just another birthday..." (as Hubby did yesterday :-)), consider this:

• I was conceived in the same calendar year I was born.
• I am 361,965 hours old. Or, 21,717,947 minutes old.
• My age is the equivalent of a dog that is 5.90254403131115 years old.
• The Mayan Calendar long count date of my birthday is 12.17.12.4.14 (which is12 baktun 17 katun 12 tun 4 uinal 14 kin).
• According to the Egyptian calendar, I was born in the month of Menchir, the second month of the season of Poret (Emergence - Fertile soil).
• At my next birthday, the candles on my cake would be capable of boiling 4.8 ounces of water.

With this birthday calculator, you'll find out more that you ever wanted to know about your special day!

PAX,

Hair Therapy...

I got a much-needed haircut & colour today - woohoo!! My hair stylist had the nerve to go on holidays recently, thus making me wait almost seven weeks between cuts. Ugh. :-) I had convinced myself that my hair didn't look that bad, but now that Chantal has given it her magic touch, I see that it was simply a case of self-esteem preservation. I couldn't admit to myself how bad it really was. I'm happy to report that I feel sassy & sexy once again!

I love playing with my hair colour. I've been doing this for a few years now. It's not so much to hide the grey (which I've had since my early 20s), it's more about exploring different looks and how I - and others - respond to them. This time, we went with a short, dark chocolate brown cut, inspired by the ever-gorgeous Natalie Portman in her post-V for Vendetta style. I'm blessed to have a hair stylist who I trust implicitly. I can simply sit in her old-fashioned barber's chair and say: "Do your thing."

The other exciting news is that Chantal has agreed to sell my photo cards in her salon. I brought a selection of my cards to show her, and she loved them! She even asked if I had framed enlargements for display. I've dabbled in amateur photography for several years now, but have never made any effort to sell anything. I've often made cards and given them as gifts or used them myself. This will be the first time that I put myself "out there" to total strangers. Since I have no expectations, there is no possibility of disappointment!

I'll finish today's post with something I once heard Suzanne Somers say in an interview: "The secret to looking young is to get a kick-ass haircut." :-) I couldn't have said it better.

PAX,

Catching a late beam...

I call it Shadow on a Blind - a gift of yesterday's switch to Daylight Savings Time... Admittedly, the beauty of that moment did little to help me get up this morning. :-)

PAX,

Staring into the spiral...

Leave it to family to lovingly nudge - dare I say, push - me off my pity pot... if, indeed, that's where I was sitting. Talking to Hubby on Friday night about how frightened I was feeling, he offered a simple perspective: "You haven't been getting enough sleep. You've been going to bed late every night this week... Why don't you try to get to bed earlier." Yes, this sounds like the male tendency to offer an immediate solution, but he does have a point. It has been a busy time and I have been going to bed late.

After reading my last post, Sis called on Saturday to see how I was doing. As I shared with her what my day was like on Friday, she laughed... not at me, but with me. She recognized all too well what she called "the downward spiral". For those of you who have never experienced the devolution of stinking thinking, the internal dialogue sounds something like this:

• Man, am I ever feeling tired. I can hardly move.
• I'm not sure I have much to give to the job today. Maybe I should stay home? I don't want to be a slacker though...
• OK, I've got nothin', so I'm staying home. I'm going back to bed.
• Wow, I just slept for another two-and-a-half hours. Why did I need that? What's wrong with me?!
• God, look at this place. I haven't even put away the Christmas decorations yet. Who the heck has a creche out on display in March?!! I can't deal with putting that stuff away right now. Am I ever lazy...
• Why are there no clean towels? Sheesh, you'd think I could do a load of laundry or two. How did I let it get to this point?! What a loser I am...
• Man, I am so tired. I have no energy. It must be my diet. Why did I have to eat that piece of cake on Wednesday? And the chips on Thursday?? I'm such a weakling... What if I'm developing some sort of eating disorder?!!
• I should really make that soup before all that broccoli goes bad. I hate wasting food, but I'm too tired to cook. Why do I always waste food? I'm so irresponsible...
• What a waste of a day... all I did was sleep and watch TV.

...and so on. This downward spiral can easily continue unless some external force comes in, usually in the form of an outside perspective. And this, my friends, is why I decided to share what I was feeling. I was once told that I shouldn't venture into in my head alone - it can be a dark & dangerous place. :-)

I'm happy to share that my foray into the downward spiral was short-lived. It was a great reminder that these times will come along and, as with all times, they too shall pass.

PAX,

Change is... difficult.

When it comes to my health, I tend to scare easily. In fact, I'm freakin' out a bit today... I'm tired. Empty. Devoid of energy. I have felt like this before for extended periods of time and I don't want to go back there. I'm scared. I want to fix "it" (whatever it is) and I want it done quickly. Now. Spoken like a person who has truly been blessed with good health for the majority of her life, non?

I suspect my diet has a lot to do with it. Last year, I discovered that a lot of what I was eating was toxic for my body. Yeast. Sugar. Fine for many, but not so for me. When I was too sick to work last year, it was easier for me to make the changes required to get better. Motivation was high and I made the changes I needed to make. I began to feel better... much better. In fact, I felt better than I could ever remember feeling! Energy. Stamina. Positive outlook. Weight loss. It was great!!

Hmm, I'm feeling good... this little slice of cake won't hurt me. Nor will this piece of chocolate. Mmmmm, potato chips. Small amounts of toxins that I am willingly ingesting. On their own, harmless perhaps, but the cumulative effect shouldn't be ignored. The way I'm feeling today may be enough to scare me into, once again, making the changes I need to make.

Sounds simple enough, but lately the cravings have been very strong. I have been unsuccessful in avoiding the foods I need to avoid, and I feel guilty and ashamed. And sick. And tired.

And so, I put it out there... this guilt... this less-than-perfection... this shadow. I pray for the willingness to turn it over and for the ability to make healthy decisions - one day at a time.

Or maybe I'm coming down with the flu.

PAX,

Oh, what a week...

What a week of blessings... I've been enjoying the fruits of my full life, all-the-while striving to make time for prayer & meditation. It's been hit n' miss. But then again, Thomas Merton tells me that "Beyond all and in all is God", so I guess I've been spending time with Her all along! In a nutshell, here is the week that was...

Monday:
Evening spent in the company of friends...

Tuesday:
My birthday celebration finally came to close, almost three months after it began. I spent a lovely evening with Hubby and Josh Groban. Tickets to this concert were a birthday gift from Hubby, who claims he didn't even realize that this could be considered a "romantic" gift. :-)

Wednesday:
I attended the AGM of the ODNOO. I've been a member for a few years now, but it's the first time I attended the AGM. Admittedly, the evening's focus on "performance art" piqued my curiosity! All in all, a great evening... however the highlight for me was my first ever participation in a drumming circle. What an experience! I want to do more and I hereby put that out there to the Universe...

Thursday:
Evening spent blissfully at home: butt on couch, eyes on TV...

Friday:
Joined over 1000 others as Dr. David Suzuki closed his month-long, cross-country If I Were Prime Minister... tour. This guy is amazing... It's so inspiring to hear someone who has the courage to dedicate themselves tirelessly to something they believe in. But I gotta say, Dr. Suzuki looked tired - and it's no wonder!! 41 talks given in 30 days, from St-John's to Victoria. So, for what it's worth, here's what I would do if I were Prime Minister...

I would banish party allegiances for all debate and legislation regarding this country's environmental stewardship. This is NOT a political issue... this is a moral issue (echoes of Al Gore...) and there is no time and no place for finger-pointing and one-upmanship. It doesn't matter what was, or was not, done in the past. We're here. We're now. And it's time to make the difficult choices. The time has come to lead.

The weekend's been equally full, with lots of yoga, meditation, napping & time spent with Hubby. We even managed to squeeze in a movie - hadn't done that in a while!

As a said, a week of blessings...
PAX,

Shall we dance?!

I think I need help.

After watching several back episodes of Ellen today, I had the urge to dance. This doesn't happen very often, but there's something quite infectious about watching Ellen, her audience and her guests simply let loose and dance. I went to my "stereo" to find something appropriately upbeat to dance to while I was cleaning the kitchen. The best I could find was the Now3! cd from 1998 - as in "1998 of the millenium prior to this one". Tubthumping by Chumbawumba... Barbie Girl by Aqua... it was all pretty pathetic. It made me realize how out of touch I am with current dance music. I'm not a big fan of rap music, but surely there's something out there for me!?!

Please post your recommendations for a good dance mix in the comments section... I need all the help I can get! This girl wants to dance!!
PAX,

Knowing No...

"To allow oneself to be carried away by a multitude of conflicting concerns, to surrender to too many demands, to commit oneself to too many projects, to want to help everyone in everything is to succumb to violence. More than that, it is cooperation in violence. The frenzy of the activist neutralizes his work for peace. It destroys his own inner capacity for peace. It destroys the fruitfulness of his own work, because it kills the root of inner wisdom which makes work fruitful." - Thomas Merton in Conjectures of a Guilty Bystander

Hmmm, sound like anyone you know?! I think we've all been there at one time or another. Perhaps you are there right now? I think the reason this quote from Merton struck a chord with me is that we live in a society that seems to reward busy-ness... and I don't do well with busy-ness! Certainly not busy-ness that comes at the expense of my spiritual, physical & emotional well-being. And yet, I still struggle with the useless and self-imposed guilt that sometimes accompanies a decision to say "no, thank you" - although, admittedly, not as much as I used to!

Interestingly, a friend offered me a true pearl to ponder earlier today: "Where there is no no, a yes means nothing." She declined to explain it and simply suggested I meditate on it for a while, which I did. I invite you to do the same...

Now, excuse me while I go say "yes" to my girl Ellen as I watch her host the Oscars!
PAX,

We rise again from Ashes...

Welcome to the great season of Lent! This may very well be my favourite time of the church year. It's as if, despite all it has screwed up over the centuries, the Catholic Church got it right with Lent. I see it as time to stop & reflect on my relationship with God... a time to become preoccupied with that Power that is oh-so-much greater than myself... a time to honour the darkness that comes with simply being alive.

As I walked around this afternoon with a cross of ashes on my forehead, I was struck by the paradox within it all. First of all, the fact that I felt - and acted upon - a deep desire to go to Ash Wednesday mass at noon is a mystery to me. Secondly, Matthew's gospel tells us:

And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. (Matthew 6:5)

...and yet, there I was walking around with a black smudge smack dab in the middle of my face. How is that "going to my room and closing the door"? I am in private, yet I am in community.

Paradox #3 is the symbol itself... a cross of ashes. Ashes remind me that I am of the Earth. The cross reminds me that I am of God. I am finite, yet I am infinite.

In light of this, and considering my childhood practice of Lent (ie. giving up chocolate or candy...), I have set an intention for my Lenten Journey 2007... a theme, if you will:

It's not so much about giving up; it's about giving in... giving in to the mystery, to the darkness, to the paradox.

There is great wisdom to be found during Lent, as long as I am willing to be honest... to be present... to be faithful to the journey.

PAX,

...for your thoughts?

Desjardins seems to think we should stop using it... What do you think??

PAX,

Being social... or not.

I attended an interesting seminar on Friday. It was on the evolution of social media and its potential impact on public policy & governance. Believe it or not, it was the first time I heard what Web 2.0 is supposed to refer to! I'm so not into this techie stuff (despite having my own blog). Don't believe me?

• I've never downloaded a podcast...
• I've never even figured out how to listen to a podcast (do I have to download it first??)...
• I don't know how to use Flickr...
• I've never uploaded a video to YouTube...
• I have no Friends...
• I have no desire to be Tagged...
• I've seen ads for Zaadz, but never checked it out until this very moment...
• I am not being fed by RSS...

Although I can acknowledge the potential for social engagement via technology, I still prefer to sit around a table with friends over good food & good drink. If complete strangers would like to join us, so be it! As long as they're willing to keep an open mind and contribute authentic ideas and honest enquiry.

All that being said, here are a few online videos that have caught my attention recently:

• Web 2.0... The Machine is Us/ing Us
• Spiders on Drugs
• OK Go (confirming that treadmilling is indeed an artform)

So, what about you?? How has social media influenced your world?

PAX,

Forever new...

It amazes me that you can know someone for years, and they still have the ability to make you go: "Huh?" I guess that's what keeps relationships interesting. Hubby & I were at our favourite coffee shop earlier this evening. We were chatting about church... and the new Archbishop of Toronto... and prayer (which in itself is somewhat unusual for us).

Hubby: Have you heard Olivia Newton-John's version of the Prayer of St-Francis?
Me: Huh??
Hubby: Gimme a minute...

Out comes the ipod and, next thing you know, I'm listening to a most beautiful musical interpretation of one of my favourite prayers. I closed my eyes the whole time and let myself be swept away...

Me: That was amazing! What the heck are you doing with that on your ipod??
Hubby: (shoulder shrug) It's a nice song.

A nice song indeed. I've been with this guy for over half my life; I hope I never stop re-discovering him.

PAX,

Words of Love...

"Learning how to love is the goal and the purpose of spiritual life — not learning how to develop psychic powers, not learning how to bow, chant, do yoga, or even meditate, but learning to love. Love is the truth. Love is the light." — Lama Surya Das in Awakening to the Sacred

"Let us make a pledge that, if not all day or all night long, at least for a few moments every day, we will make an effort to experience love, love that is free from selfishness, free from desire, free from expectation, love that is complete freedom." — Swami Chidvilasananda in Kindle My Heart

"Let the good in me connect with the good in others, until all the world is transformed through the compelling power of love." — Rebbe Nachman of Breslov in The Gentle Weapon

"Hatred ever kills; love never dies. Such is the vast difference between the two. What is obtained by love is retained for all time. What is obtained by hatred proves a burden in reality, for it increases hatred. The duty of a human being is to diminish hatred and to promote love." — Mahatma Gandhi quoted in The Way to God edited by M. S. Desphande

"Love is the cure,

for your pain will keep giving birth to more pain

until your eyes constantly exhale love

as effortlessly as your body yields its scent.”

- Rumi

Happy Valentine's Day, friends...
PAX,

Cricket is dead; long live Cricket!

Well, today it was officially out with the old, and in with the new... Hubby returned Cricket III to the Mazda dealership today. Having picked up Cricket IV last Wednesday, we are once again a one-car family. Maybe this is the car that will inspire me to overcome my discomfort with driving, dare I say, my fear of driving.

Living where I do, I don't really need to drive. Most everything I need is a short walk or a bus ride away, so there is nothing that is really motivating me to get behind the wheel of a car. Except, of course, when I might want to go off the beaten track... or when it would be practical for me to drop Hubby off somewhere... or pick him up... or do something on my own... or... (fill in the blank).

Yes, I could get away without driving. In fact, I do get away with it... but at what cost? Yep, just maybe this will be the car...

PAX,

Thots on relationship...

Uncle Joe & Tante Noune just celebrated their 57th wedding anniversary. This is a picture of their wedding day: January 31, 1950. Could they ever have imagined the direction their life would take? With six kids, ten grand-kids and I've-lost-count-of-how-many great-grand-kids, you can imagine that they have a very full life. Family & friends. And music. Always the music.

Last night, over sushi and seaweed salad, our Mad Chatters discussion turned to relationships... always a timely topic, non? We explored the difference between soul mates and life mates. I believe in both; I just don't believe they have to be one and the same. I have a life mate and - one day at a time - I freely & happily choose to be with him. I don't necessarily believe that we are soul mates and that we were destined to be together. I also know there is no guarantee we'll reach our 57th wedding anniversary. I sure hope we do! But I've learned that this marriage - and the love that keeps it together - is a daily decision. He is one of my best Teachers; life with him helps me to know myself better. This may not sound like the most romantic perspective to you, but I think it's one that will lead us to a fulfilled life in partnership.

I also have a soul mate. Well, more than one actually... men & women. They drift in and out of my life and somehow connect with me at a deeply spiritual level - just when I seem to need them. There is indeed a sense of destiny. I can go years without seeing them, yet the moment we reconnect, it's like we never parted. I bumped into one such person this past week. It had to be nearly six years since I last saw him. Turns out we had been working in the same building for the last three months. The day I saw him was the last day of his contract, a.k.a. his last day working in that building. Funny that.

I also believe in soul moments... those unexpected times when the walls come down and two people - often casual acquaintances or even strangers - share their stories with each other in an honest and fearless way. So often, those impromptu conversations have shed light on something I'd been grappling with for some time. Those moments are pure gift and I have experienced many.

We Mad Chatters went on to talk about the "fiction of the one true love" - its link to so many unhappy marriages and unmet expectations. We also wandered onto the topic of the detrimental effects of the primacy of the nuclear family in modern society, and the dangers of societal obsession with self-sufficiency. Just another night of fascinating conversation with the Mad Chatters! Somehow, I think that my Uncle Joe & Tante Noune couldn't really care less. They're too busy living their lives...

PAX,

Parla inglese?

In preparation for my trip to Italy this summer, Hubby bought me an Italian PhraseFinder & Dictionary for Christmas. It's organized primarily by "situation" or theme. I often browse through it when I'm on the bus or waiting in line, quietly whispering the words to myself in a way that I hope does not butcher it too badly...

Here are a few phrases that I'll definitely need:

• Non parlo italiano. (I don't speak Italian.)
• Può ripetere, per favore? (Can you repeat that please?)
• Come si arriva alla stazione ferroviaria? (How do I get to the train station?)
• A che ora servite la colazione? (When is breakfast served?)
• Può dirmi per favore il posto migliore per fare compere? (Please tell me the best place for shoping.)
• Cerco una taglia piccola. (I'm looking for a size small.)

Here are a few phrases that I will definitely NOT need:

• Dove posso trovare un locale con musica hip-hop? (Where can I find a hip hop club?)
• Doppio, per favore! (Make it a double, please.)
• Le va di ballare? (Would you like to dance?)
• Lei mi sembra la persona più interessante in questo posto. (You look like the most interesting person in the room.)
• Puoi preparare la colazione anche per me? (Will you make me breakfast too?)
• Mi aiuti a toglierlo? (Would you help me out of this?)
• Credo che questo sia stato un errore. (I think this was a mistake.)

Here are a few phrases that I HOPE I will not need:

• Scusi! Quella era la mia fermata! (Excuse me! That was my stop!)
• Mi serve qualcosa per la diarrea. (I need something for diarrhea.)
• Ferma! Al ladro! (Stop! Thief!)
• Chiama un medico, presto! (Please call a doctor!)
• Mi aiuti... Ho perso il passaporto. (Help me... I lost my passport.)
• Devo chiamare la mia ambasciata. (I need to call my embassy.)

Grazie.

Sunday Mornings...

Kudos to Hubby who posted another personal best (PB) at Sunday's Hypothermic Half-marathon! This is his 5th consecutive PB since he decided to take his training to a new level last spring. Way to go, Babe!

It was a c-c-cold morning yesterday, and as Hubby sped along the race course, I spent a luxurious time reading in bed - I haven't done that in eons! I woke up... picked up the book from my nightstand... and began to read. When my tummy started distracting me with its loud gurgles, I went downstairs, made breakfast, brought it up to bed and had breakfast in bed (!), reading all-the-while. I didn't stop until I finished the book, approximately three hours later. What a great way to spend the morning!!

By the way, the book was delightful. I laughed... I cried... I totally escaped... what more could I ask for?!

And yes, some may think that I am somewhat of a cad for not going out to support Hubby in his race. But good sense won the day. It's one thing to run in -20C (insane, yes :-)), but at least the body is moving. It's quite another to just stand there for a couple of hours, stomping your feet to check if they're still attached to your ankles. I love my husband. I support him and applaud his achievements, but I'm not crazy!! :-)

PAX,

Hats off to Mr. Burns...

Yesterday was Robbie Burns Day. I see the signs on local pub storefronts... I see the clip on the news... but admittedly, I don't know a whole heckuva lot about it. That's why I appreciated my buddy Stuart's post at waldencabin.com. It gave me a wee glimpse into one of the traditions associated with this celebration - and it made me shudder!

Things got a little less queasy when I went to the Rabbie Burns tribute site. There, I discovered that most of us honour Master Burns at the birth of the new year by singing - or at least singing parts of - one of his most famous compositions. One can only imagine how badly that poem has been butchered by drunken hoards... Oh well, can't be worse than boiled sheep stomach with ground organs.

Although I find the language difficult to decipher, I discovered that this poem - an ode to the little critter who sometimes wreaks havoc in my kitchen - is the source of the expression "best laid plans of mice & men". I've used that expression before but had no clue where it came from.

But Mousie, thou art no thy lane,
In proving foresight may be vain:
The best-laid schemes o mice an men
Gang aft agley,
An lea'e us nought but grief an pain,
For promis'd joy!

I wonder what expressions from our era they'll still be using 250 years from now? Frightening thought...

PAX,

Divine assistance...

It is said that God looks out for fools & drunks. I'd have to say She has a soft spot for procrastinators as well...

I finally went to the gym today. I was reminded a while back that I have free access to a small, yet well-equipped, exercise room through my workplace. As the temperature continues to linger in the sub-sub-zero zones, the thought of going for a run doesn't hold much appeal for me. Call me a fair-weather runner. So, I figured it was time to look for alternatives.

I knew an indoor treadmill was an option, but I'd been putting off actually going to the gym to try it out. Why? Simple: I've never really used a treadmill before. I don't know how to turn one on. I don't know how to control the speed. I don't know how to stay upright. I have visions of me flying backwards, flailing and failing to keep up with the machine. Finally, I don't know how I can try running on a treadmill without looking (and feeling) like a complete idiot.

Thoughts of the stationary bicycle finally got me to the gym. My strategy? If, at first glance, the treadmill looks completely overwhelming, I'll try spinning for a while. At least I'll be sitting down.

I took a late lunch to avoid the "rush hour". In the change room, who should I bump into but a former co-worker! Coincidence? I think not... She comes to the gym regularly to use the treadmill and other machines. (What luck!!) Would she be willing to show me how it works? Of course, she says. Woohoo! Personal lessons. Not only did I manage 25 minutes on the treadmill (running & walking), but with her guidance, I also tried the elliptical, the stationary bike, the rowing machine...

Now, with my ego back in its proper place, and thanks to a convenient "coincidence", I have options on those bone-chilling days. Like I said, God surely has a soft spot for fools, drunks AND proud procrastinators...

PAX,

More day to drive...

Have you noticed?? It's happening already! Just walk out the door around 5pm and you will see that there is significantly more light than there was just a short time ago. The days are already getting noticeably longer... We're just getting our first taste of real winter weather now, and the end is already near. I s'pose it doesn't really matter though. Our new car is made for all season driving... :-)

Yep, it was an eventful weekend. Talk about a serious case of PPJP! Fun times ahead...
PAX,

Consumer beware...

I was cleaning out my tea cupboard this past week. It was long overdue. I found a full box of Cranberry Hot Apple Cider mix. Just add water, it states. But add water to what?, I wondered...

Ingredients: Sugar, dextrose, natural flavours, maltodextrin, citric acid, beet powder, malic acid, ascorbic acid (vitamin C 313mg/100g - 120% RDI/serving), silicon dioxide, caramel, tricalcium phosphate, salt.

Interestingly, no mention of cranberries or apples. Apparently, the good news is: it's caffeine free and has no artificial flavours or colours!

The box made quite a THUNK as it hit the bottom of the trash can.

PAX,

Mission Possible...

My mission, should I choose to accept it, is to post something to this blog every day for the next week.

It's easy to get out of the habit of writing regularly, and I've enjoyed sharing my news and views here... so I want to get back into the groove. It seems that once again, I've been waiting for the perfect post to come to me before sitting down at the computer. Of course, the perfect post is an illusion... forever beyond the reach of my fingertips. So, all I need to do now, is jump in!

I may as well start with soap - Moonsnail Soapworks soap, that is. I just put in an order for another 18 bars of soap. I walked into Moonsnail's Charlottetown store last July and picked up two bars of soap. Little did I know that, from that moment on, every other soap bar would pale in comparison! If, like me, you find it difficult to wake up in the morning, treat yourself to Spearmint Swirl or Dad's Licorice soap. Your morning shower will take on a whole new flavour. :-)

PAX,

What follows the 12 Days of Christmas?

The Work of Christmas Begins - by Howard Thurman

When the song of the angels is stilled,
When the star in the sky is gone,
When the kings and the princes are home,
When the shepherds are back with their flocks,
Then the work of Christmas begins…
To find the lost,
To heal the broken,
To feed the hungry,
To release the prisoner,
To rebuild the nations,
To bring peace among people,
To make music in the heart.

PAX Friends... and let the work of Christmas begin in all of us,

Life Lessons...

Six years ago today, my father-in-law passed away. I thought I would remember him in a special way by posting what I sent to friends & family a couple of weeks after his death.

"The last month has been quite intense. I am sad to write that my father-in-law, John Lawless, passed away on January 9, 2001. He died just 50 days after being diagnosed with cancer, long enough for us to say good-bye, but not so long that his pain became a long-term reality. As difficult as this has been for us all, my faith has been given a boost. I have been inspired by the courage, compassion and kindness of those involved in John's care, especially during his last days. The V.O.N., the Red Cross homecare workers, the hospice volunteers, even the doctor who made a housecall on New Year's Day... And the family who chose to care for him at home, allowing him the dignity of dying where he had lived and loved. It was my first close experience with death, and as weird as this may sound, it was a positive one. Painful, but in a healthy way... I honestly feel that it was a privilege to be a part of this myterious and powerful stage of a person's life.

The outpouring at John's funeral was overwhelming. The church was standing-room only with an estimated 600 people gathered to celebrate his life. Hearing others share their "John stories" with me, I realized how simple it is to have an impact on someone's life: a smile, eye contact, a joke, fresh flowers from the garden, a warm welcome, a basket of berries... and a couple of dozen of chocolate chip cookies, or a pie or two! :-)

And so, today's message is mostly about John - his life and his death. I needed to share some of the insights I have gained over the past month or so - it is part of my grieving process, I guess. Most importantly, I've learned that we can never really know how we touch people's lives. I'm sure John never expected people to remember his kindnesses as much as they do... It was never his motivation, it was just his way. It's been a trying time - thanks for letting me share this with you..."

Here we are, six years later, and his life still inspires me... Thanks John - I'm sure God is enjoying your cookies & gardens as much as we did!! Oh, and say Hi to Hobbes for me... :-)

PAX,

What goes in, goes out...

I was cleaning out my bedside table yesterday and found a calendar from 2004. I had attempted to document my energy levels and other health-related issues/symptoms. It lasted a few months at most. The shocker for me was that on January 1, 2004, I weighed 37 lbs more than I do now. Wow. I've come a long way...

2006 was certainly the year I took my health into my own hands and made it a priority. Turns out that my problems were primarily related to diet. In the last year, I've cut out yeast... sugar... vinegars... mushrooms... most processed foods... and I've greatly reduced my intake of tomatoes & dairy. The result? I lost a ton of weight (not literally!) and feel physically better than I have in years. My symptoms have all but disappeared.

It's simple. What I put IN to my body (ie. input) affects how my body puts it OUT (ie. output). Garbage in, garbage out. And, boy, did I ever test that theory over the holidays. I still did pretty good, but I cheated quite a bit when compared to how I'd been eating in the previous months. I didn't put on any weight, but my energy level and my digestion quickly went back to their old ways. But I'm not freakin' out... I know what I need to do.

Feeling less-than-well is no longer normal... Remembering what it's like to actually feel healthy is a great motivator!

PAX,

Starting in darkness...

It's a new dawn. It's a new day. It's a new year.
And I feel empty.

For me this year, Christmas was high on family & comfort... and low on Spirit. Advent came & went with no contribution from me. I am devoid of any excitement or enthusiasm for this traditional time of new beginnings.

I'm in that space where God seems absent. I know He's not, but I just can't seem to connect with Her. I'm in that place of un-knowing, of un-certainty, of un-connectedness... and my spiritual teachers tell me that this is where I need to stay in order to grow closer to God.

In order to know God,
I need to become comfortable with un-knowing God.

Believe it or not, I am grateful to be here - in this space. Experience has taught me that this too shall pass... and all will be well.

"There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word "happy" would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. It is far better to take things as they come along with patience and equanimity. " - Carl Jung

PAX,

And we're off...

I'm hopping a train in a couple of hours and will be spending Christmas with Hubby's side of the family. It'll be a full house at Mum-in-Law's, complete with two excited little girls on Christmas morning. Our nieces (3 and 6) will certainly add that all-important level of squeal & giddiness to the day. I'm looking forward to it!

Of course, whenever we're with one side of the family, we're not with the other. That always brings a bit of sadness to the season as well. I'll be thinking of my Clan in New Brunswick and trust that, at some point, they will have a drink and sing a song with me in mind!

What a blessing: to have to decide which side of the family to spend Christmas with. As I spoke to my friend John-from-the-street yesterday, that fact became clear. He has five siblings and and a son - and he has lost touch with them all. And yet, he smiles, offers cheerful greetings to passers-by, and shares what little he has with his buddies. I think maybe there is my Christmas story this year - finding God-moments where you least expect it.

To all who pass by this blog, here's wishing you all the best of Christmas and continued blessings in 2007. Take a moment to turn up your speakers, sit back for a moment, and enjoy this musical Christmas cheer.

PAX,

It's all relative...

Like most of us, I'm a sucker for a white Christmas. Looks like I may have to use my imagination this year... There are benefits to this unusually warm December weather though. It's been good for running - only two sub-sub-zero runs so far! Those travelling early have fared well - here's hoping it lasts for the weekend. And I'm sure the relatively balmy temperature was much appreciated by the kilted bagpiper wailing "Tidings of Comfort and Joy" on the corner of Sparks & Metcalfe.

The fact is, we get what we get. And we make it what we make it. Mayswell make it good!

PAX,

A visual meditation...

I have discovered the antidote to this mounting frenzy of consumerism that I have been experiencing of late: Into Great Silence. This film was a visual feast and a balm to my restless soul. I've been feeling disconnected from the season of Advent. In fact, Advent started two Sundays ago and I didn't even notice 'til this past weekend. I usually use this beautiful season as a time to slow down and to reflect on what the story of Christmas represents to me today. Advent: a time of waiting... but what exactly am I waiting for?!

Into Great Silence allowed me to slow down and set my ego aside for a while. It was a wonderful meditation on time, rhythm, discipline and - of course - silence. This documentary (if I may even call it that) brings us into the daily life of the Carthusian monks living at their motherhouse, La Grande Chartreuse, in the French Alps. Professing to a life of prayer & solitude, these monks are nonetheless living a life of intentional community.

The entire film was shot by a single person who lived and worked with the monks for six months. He was not permitted to use any source of artificial light. The effect is stunning. It reminded me of the value of keeping it simple - therein lies the beauty. And I think I was all-the-more touched by this film because of my recent decision to attend a 7-day Christian Meditation retreat in Tuscany next July. This retreat at Monte Oliveto Maggiore has been on my "wish list" ever since I first heard of it. God willing, 2007 is the year my wish comes true!

So, if you find yourself getting caught up in all that Christmas is NOT, treat yourself to 160 minutes of pure peace & simplicity. Here's hoping Into Great Silence shows up at a theatre near you...

PAX,

Another milestone...

How can it be that almost two weeks have gone by since my last post?! It seems that, despite all my efforts to slow down, life still streams by in a blink. Two weeks, made up of individual moments, made up of memories, made up of moments...

I've had a birthday since my last post. I have a child-like sense of excitement about birthdays. I don't shy away from it, but welcome it as another milestone reached on my journey. On my birthday, I was on the fifth day of a 5-day course. I flipped my nametag over and wrote: "It's my birthday... Hugs please!" It worked. Amazing what happens when you actually ask to have your needs met. :-) On one of my birthdays of years past (sometime in my late 20's), I changed my answering machine message. If you had called me on that day on reached my machine, you would have heard: (cue the music) "Happy Birthday to meee, Happy Birthday tooo meeee... Happy Birthday, Happy Birthdaaayy... Happy Birthday tooo meeee. Please leave your good wishes after the beep." (beeeeeep)

Celebrate life... it's better than the alternative.
PAX,

Getting energized...

We've lived in our Little White House (LWH) for over three years now. Yesterday, I figured out how to program our thermostat. It's not necessary to rush into these things, y'know.

Speaking of energy-saving measures, have you visited The Bulb Blog lately? Project Porchlight continues to brighten my day with its energy, its humour and its simple message: Change is within reach. Saving the environment is as easy as changing a light bulb. BTW, Porchlight's blog is up for 2006 Canadian Blog Awards. They're nominated in 3 categories: Best New Blog, Best Group Blog and Best Business Blog. They'll be getting my vote!

Shine on, friends.
PAX,

Our NYC Marathon Story: Epilogue

EPILOGUE: A story in three screens.

Waiting...









Going...









Gone...

Our NYC Marathon Story: Chapter Four

WALKING.

Walking appears to be an art form in mid-town Manhattan. Just like the last time we visited, I was impressed by the well-honed choreography involving pedestrians & vehicles. It helps that streets are primarily one-way, so you need only concern yourself with cars/taxis whizzing by from one direction. The ongoing dance-at-the-intersection has a rhythm, a cadence to it.




Combined with NYC's fine subway system, I found it quite easy to get where I wanted to go as a pedestrian. No need for driving. No need for taxi cabs. Sometimes, all I wanted to do was walk 'n gawk... and there was plenty of opportunity to do that too. Our hotel was just blocks away from Times Square, so we walked around there on most evenings. On race night, we opted for dinner & a movie in Times Square. Hubby was quite tired and couldn't guarantee that he'd actually stay awake through a Broadway show!

Walking also turned out to be a good post-race day activity. On Monday-after-the-race, Hubby & I walked around Rockefeller Square and eventually made our way to Central Park. I wanted to go to Strawberry Fields and see the IMAGINE mosaic. By then, we knew our time in NYC was coming to an end and we were grateful for another beautiful day weatherwise. Check out at the hotel. One last lunch in Manhattan. Hail a cab and off to the airport we go. Farewell NYC - thanks for the memories!

PAX,

Our NYC Marathon Story: Chapter Three

SHOPPING.

You know what they say, when in Rome (or NYC)... shop! And, amidst all the running around, I managed to do just that. This was my second visit to Manhattan, and I knew that I couldn't even afford to buy a hairclip at any of the stores on Fifth Avenue, so I focussed my shopping energy elsewhere.

A couple of months ago, I read an article in the local paper about shopping in NYC on a budget. One specific place the author mentioned was The Market NYC - a weekend marketplace where young designers can rent a table/stall and sell their stuff. On Saturday afternoon, with Hubby opting to stay at the hotel to "save his legs", I headed off to The Market to "spend our money". :-) Again, three cheers for the NYC subway system; turns out that my destination was a single train ride away.

Located in NoLIta, just to the east of SoHo, there lies a non-descript building just bursting with creativity. I must have spent almost 2 hours, just looking... and touching... and trying... and looking s'more... And yes, there were a lot of affordable items! I walked out of there with a gorgeous coat - it's like it was made for me! The perfect combination of fit, finesse & funk... I love it and I feel sexy & fine when I wear it!! I spent the rest of the afternoon roaming the streets of SoHo and marvelling at the sights and sounds and slowly made my way back to the hotel.

The next morning, as I watched Hubby walk to the bus stop at 5am, I noticed people setting up tables on Sixth Avenue, right in front of the hotel. Didn't think much of it until I walked out the front door later that morning to discover six full blocks of vendors, both sides of the street! Oy. I almost didn't make it to the race on time! It was a feast for the senses - colours, smells, sounds, textures... beautiful. Of course, it was total excess - cheap consumerism at its best/worst - knock-offs galore. And I ate it up. My socially conscious self seemed to have stayed behind in Ottawa. :-) I managed to spend the last of my cash on a few items: a cap to go with my new coat, "real" italian leather gloves, a genuine Dolce & Gabana knock-off handbag for my sister, a couple of gift items... All in all, great fun!

Interestingly enough, the other store that gladly accepted our credit card was Whole Foods at Columbus Circle. I believe this is where my socially conscious self was able to redeem herself. :-)

PAX,

Our NYC Marathon Story: Chapter Two

RACING.

Oh yeah, the race. The very "raison d'être" of our trip to NYC. Race day started very early for Hubby. Runners were being bussed to the start line from various locations around the city. Our hotel was only a couple of blocks from one of these bus pick-up zones (at 42nd & 6th), so Hubby was able to squeeze in a few more minutes of sleep. It's all relative though - that meant waking up around 3:45am instead of 3:30am. Busses started leaving around 4:30am and it was suggested that runners target a 5am departure. Did I mention that the actual start time for the NYC Marathon was 10:10am?!

I considered going to the bus stop with Hubby to see him off, but that would have meant getting out of bed, putting on clothes, walking to the pick-up location, walking back to the hotel, peeling off the clothes and climbing back into bed. When I stopped to think about it honestly, only the last item on that list really appealed to me. Sooo, I ended up watching him walk over from our 18th floor window. :-) I'm not a parent, but I felt what I imagine a parent might feel watching their child leave on the first day of school. Weird. There was Hubby, wearing his brand new sweats (that would keep him warm during the long wait ahead in his corral, but would later be tossed onto the road as the race began), carrying his race bag and excitedly walking to catch his bus. I was nervous for him... excited for him... proud of him... all those emotions without even being fully awake!

I was pretty much on my own from that point on. I had considered taking the subway to Brooklyn in the hopes of catching a glimpse of Hubby, but I wasn't at all familiar with the area and wasn't sure where I would pop up when emerging from underground. I decided to stay within my comfort zone. I watched the race start on TV. The local NBC affiliate had great coverage starting at 9am.

As I watched the start, it dawned on me that, although Hubby & I had confirmed that we'd meet up in the designated Family Reunion Area, we hadn't been very specific. His last initial fell somewhere within the "I - P" 4-block span... but we hadn't chosen an exact location. I got the brilliant idea to make a sign that I could hold up while walking through the crowd. Luckily, there was a Staples one block away, so after a quick stop there to buy bristol board & markers, I started crafting a sign that I knew only he would understand. (As it turns out, the family reunion area was so well organized, even within the ranges, and Hubby & I found each other within about 10 minutes of his arrival. Then again, maybe it was because of the sign after all!)

By this time, Hubby had started running... I had signed up to receive email updates every 5km; that way, I knew where he was on the race route. I headed off to 1st & 63rd, just after the 25km mark. I became part of what is known as "the wall of noise". After crossing the Queensboro Bridge (a.k.a. the 59th Street Bridge) in complete silence, runners turn north onto 1st Avenue and are greeted by thousands of cheering spectators lining the street. I waited... and I watched... I know Hubby ran by while I was there because of the email updates I was receiving. But try as I might, I didn't see him. I kept on scanning the hundreds of runners that went by, looking for the cap that I thought he was wearing. My brain was in overdrive as it scanned and eliminated hundreds of faces.

Once I received notice that he'd crossed the 30km mark, I knew I'd missed him, so I headed back towards Central Park and tried to find a spot on 59th St., just at the bottom end of the Park. There, the miracle happened. I saw him!! He was on the other side of the street, and I yelled his name as loud as I could, but to no avail. But, against all odds, I saw him. "Good Man.", I said to those around me, and off I went to the next stage: the family reunion area.

I decided to take the subway to avoid having to walk through a gazillion spectators. The map clearly showed that the B train running along Central Park West would drop me off exactly where I wanted to go. What the map didn't say was that the B train wasn't running that day due to maintenance work on the tracks. Sigh. I spent close to 25 minutes waiting for a train that would never come. I approached two of New York's finest, and asked them about alternate options. They pointed me in the right direction and I hopped onto the D train. I reached my destination, finally, and after only 15 minutes or so, found my Hubby. Oh happy day!

It took Hubby approximately one hour from crossing the finish line to his arrival in the Family Reunion Area. After waiting around a bit longer to connect with a friend who had also completed his first NYC Marathon, we headed back to our hotel. Upon entering the lobby, the security guards and the front desk staff all broke out into applause! It was quite a moment...



Hubby was pretty psyched. He has already received numerous emails from friends & family following his progress on the web. He sat down in the hotel lounge to send out a few emails... I went for a quick shop (topic of next chapter :-)) and we opted for an evening in Times Square: dinner & movie. All in all, an unforgettable day.

PAX,

Our NYC Marathon Story: Chapter One

I was trying to think of a clever way to pack our entire NYC story into a single post. Not gonna happen. So, over the next few days, I'll focus on four distinct themes: Running, Racing, Shopping, Walking. First up:

RUNNING.
Thanks to a surprising decision to join a learn-to-run group last April, and to my commitment to this new-found practice, I was able to join Hubby in a wonderful event that took place on the Saturday: the International Friendship Run. I didn't know what to expect, but I certainly didn't expect this!! Thousands upon thousands of runners representing a virtual United Nations of runners. Fittingly enough, the run started at the actual United Nations Headquarters building! We arrived, two lone runners decked in red & white with the word CANADA splashed across our back, amidst a sea of French runners singing La Marseillaise.

Suddenly, we heard: "Look! There are two Canadians!"... and that's how we met Heidi & Sylvia, two energetic sisters from the Vancouver area. Obviously, we Canadians weren't too organized as a group, and we were happy to become a clan of four. Slowly, other red & white clad runners arrived and we began to gather mass. One runner had a tall pole with a Canadian flag, and he became our beacon in the crowd. At one point during the run, someone started singing O Canada. Next thing you know, we had ourselves a rousing rendition of our national anthem going. Running AND singing at the same time?! Man, I'm in unchartered territory here...

I enjoyed seeing how runners from other countries dressed up for the occasion. There were a couple of "sumo wrestlers" from Japan, as well as runners in kimonos... A bunch of Dutch runners were hard to miss in bright orange wigs. But mostly, people were simply wearing their national colours.

The run ended up being about 4km and finished in Central Park. That's when the exchanges started. People who couldn't even speak the same language were pointing to each others running shirts with the universally understood raising-of-the-eyebrows to say "Wanna trade?!" Hubby & I weren't too sure how to go about this and just walked around watching. Then two guys approached us. They were from Brazil and we traded the sweaty shirts off our backs for two equally sweaty shirts from the Maratona do Rio de Janeiro. Hubby also got a brand new Brazil cap in exchange for his old faded Canada cap. Not a bad deal for him! As for me, what will I do with a man's large long-sleeved running shirt?! :-) Oh well, at least Antonio's wife will look sharp, running on the streets of Rio, in her new CANADA shirt.

All in all, quite an amazing experience... The NYC Marathon really does have quite an international flavour, and we tasted it for ourselves on a crisp Saturday morning, on the streets of New York. Hope you enjoy the pics!

Our Canadian contingent of two...

A story waiting to be told...

One weekend.

One Race.

37,000 Stories.

This one is ours... Stay tuned!

A New York Minute...

One minute, you're pulling up to the departures entrance at the airport at 4 am; next minute, you're back home wondering how the heck you managed to fit all that stuff in your suitcase! Oh, and by the way, wasn't that a great weekend...

Our trip has come and gone, in a New York minute. First of all, a HUGE shout-out to Hubby for successfully completing the NYC Marathon and for blowing his personal record OUT. OF. THE. WATER!! It was his first time breaking the 4-hour mark and break it he did - his final time was 3:33:25. He has trained really hard since his last marathon in May. He is 23 pounds lighter and quite obviously fitter & faster. Way to go, Babe!!

I'll post more info in the days to come, as well as a few pics. Just wanted to let you know that we're back... we had a great time... and all is well. We survived New York City and can't wait 'til the next time!

PAX,

All Saints... and then some!

As children all across the continent are nursing a sugar hangover, many people take this day to celebrate All Saints Day. My friend Mark, of Mad Chatters fame, once suggested browsing through an old edition of Lives of the Saints, just for fun. While on retreat at Stillpoint, I found a 1958 copy of "The Saints: A Concise Biographical Dictionary". Rarely one to miss an opportunity for idle amusement, I decided to follow Mark's suggestion. Here are a few things that caught my attention:

Antony of Padua - patron saint of lost possessions and one of the few saints whose name I've actually invoked - was Portuguese, not Italian, and his real name was Fernando.

St-Crispin is one of two patrons of shoemakers. He is said to have preached the gospel in France and to have mended shoes in exchange for bread. (My great-grand-father's name was Crispin. I don't think he did much with shoes, except wear them out. )

St-Donald (8th c.) - After his wife's death, his nine daughters formed themselves into a religious community which he supervised. (Sounds downright dysfunctional to me.)

St-Eustace is the patron of hunters. He is said to have been a Roman general who was converted while hunting. He suffered martyrdom by being roasted in a bronze bull. (Talk about bad Kharma.)

St-Galla (6th c.) - Although her doctor warned her that unless she married again, she would grow a beard, this young patrician widow persevered in her resolve to become a nun. (You go, girl! Don't let the threat of facial hair keep you from pursuing your dreams...)

St-Leocadia (early 4th c.) the patroness of Toledo (Spain, not Ohio!) is said to have died there, imprisoned by her faith during the persecution of Diocletian. (My great-grandmother's name was "Léocadie". I wonder if she knew she was named after a saint?!)

Needless to say, there were a gazillion more "biographies" listed in that book. Some had paragraphs dedicated to their successes & suffering, while others had barely a complete sentence. The only common thread that I was able to find was that they were all Christian and that they were all dead... dead because they were Christian.

My family story holds that my first ancestor to set foot in North America in the early 17th century was martyred for his religious beliefs. Try as I might, I could not find his name in that book.

Peace to you on this All Saints Day...

Coincidences? I think not!

I moved into a new office today. Just as I was getting settled into the other one, where I've been since June, I was told last week that I'd be moving to a different building. After unpacking boxes and trying to get organized for most of the morning, I decided to go downstairs for a late lunch. My new building has a beautiful atrium - complete with waterfall - and several quick lunch deli type places.

As I walked through the atrium, I spotted a good friend I hadn't seen in several months. She, too, had recently moved to the vicinity, just a half-block away. "Coincidence" #1.

Nancy was munching & chatting with another woman and I popped over to say Hi. She looked at me with a somewhat shocked look on her face, and looked over to her companion. I glanced over and was equally stunned. I was looking at my sister! "Coincidence" #2.

I joined them and we started to catch up on news. Nancy shared that she had just finished a half-day training session to become a fire warden in her building. Five minutes later, a fire alarm rang throughout the atrium. "Coincidence" #3.

We looked around wondering if we should exit the building. In light of her recent training, Nancy suggested that perhaps we should. We headed over to Bridgehead Coffee House across the street. As we headed towards a free table, someone cried out my name. It was Giacomo, a work-related acquaintance from my former job. "Coincidence" #4.

I hadn't seen Giacomo since the spring. He took a five-month leave of absence from his job in order to complete a solo trek in East Africa. For stunning photos and a journal capturing his journey, check out his website. I've always enjoyed working with Giacomo. He has a great energy about him, one that - in my opinion - inspires people to want to follow his lead. Upon returning from his 3-month trip, and taking time to just be, he decided to resign from his position and nourish his passion: community radio. Hear him on Monday morning's Special Blend on CKCU. As he shared this news, I glanced over to my sister, who is currently on a one-year sabbatical to simply be and to explore her own life's calling. "Coincidence" #5.

Every single moment in this series of events was fully dependant upon the previous moment. The web of inter-connectedness was strong! I was not looking forward to moving today... yet as a result of that decision, I connected with three beautiful souls in a way I couldn't have possibly planned on my own. The Universe really does take care of its own. We need only be open to the possibility of "coincidences".

PAX,

Rattlin' & Chatterin'

Q: Why don't skeletons like the cold?
A: Because the wind goes right through them!

I daresay, I'd have to side with the skeleton on this one! I should have expected nothing less as I ran the Rattle Me Bones 5Km run this morning. Brrrrrr... Wind warning in effect - gusts in the range of 50 - 70 km/hr. Windchill of -4C. They could have easily called it "Chatter Me Teeth". :-) Still, I managed to shave a few seconds off my personal best. I'm pretty pleased with that considering that, at one point, I couldn't really tell if I was even moving forward!

Next Saturday morning, I'll be running with Hubby in the NYC Marathon's International Friendship Run. It's described as a "leisurely 4-mile jog" starting at the United Nations and finishing at Tavern on the Green restaurant in Central Park. Here's hoping there will be no rattling of bones or chattering of teeth on that run...

PAX,

Start Spreading the News...

In exactly one week from now, Hubby & I will be in Manhattan! Hubby is one of 50,000 crazy people running the NYC Marathon on November 5th. I will be one of the estimated 2,ooo,ooo crazy people standing there watching them! We fly out early, early Friday morning and will be there until Monday afternoon. Since the focus of the weekend is the race, we haven't really planned a gazillion things to do. We'd like to just go, take in the experience and see where the Spirit leads.

We'll be staying at a fairly new hotel in a central location not too far from the race finish. I fully expect to do a LOT of walking and riding the NYC subway system. I'm hoping to do a bit of shopping, and maybe I'll even use the ladies room at Sak's Fifth Avenue or something. Lord knows that a flush is pretty much all I can afford to get there! :-) The one place I am hoping to check out is The Market NYC. It's only on weekends and, apparently, new up-n-coming designers are known to sell their wares there. Focus appears to be on jewellery and handbags. Could be dangerous! Since Hubby won't be up for walking a lot on the day before the race, we'll probably head out for one of the neighbourhoods where he can find a coffee shop with high speed internet, and I'll head out on my own for a bit - credit card in hand...

Anyway, best laid plans and all that stuff... Who really knows?! I'm just excited about what lies ahead!

PAX,

p.s. I cut my finger yesterday. I was thrilled! Perhaps you'll remember an earlier post where I shared my discovery of these... :-)

Images of Stillpoint...

I thought I'd share some of my favourite images from my retreat at the Still Point... I don't know what it was like in your part of the world, but the weather that weekend was perfect. Enjoy the view!

PAX,

Writings from the Still Point - Day 3 (again)

Last summer, Friends of Stillpoint had a new statue of Mary, Mother of Jesus, installed on the grounds. The space is wonderfully designed and it has become a new favourite of mine. Backing onto the river, the grotto offers a peaceful place to sit and pray and just hang out. Today, as I gazed at her beauty, the following poem came about...

A CONVERSATION WITH MARY

O Mother Mary, what have you to teach? Your world is of the old!
Your time is past.
Your day is done.
Your legacy is cold.

Have you never known what you must do, though that was not your will? Have you never had to accept a thing? To swallow a bitter pill?!

O Mother Mary, Woman of Serenity, Be with me...

Have you never brought changes to your life, be they big or small? Have you never wondered if you had what it took to face the world at all?

O Mother Mary, Woman of Courage, Be with me...

Have you never wished you could take their pain and make it go away? Have you had to learn that was not your job, but that God would guide the day?

O Mother Mary, Woman of Wisdom, Be with me...

So now you see we're not that different; we're not so far apart.
My time is now.
My day is here.
I am woman of your Heart.

(written while basking in the warm October sun and the radiating Peace of Our Lady of Stillpoint...)

PAX,

Writings from the Still Point - Day 3

IF THE (RUNNING) SHOE FITS...

I've added a new element to my spiritual practice here at Stillpoint: running. I ran 5km (+/-) on Friday and probably 3.5 - 4km today. The 10:1 intervals are still working well for me. I run based on time, not distance, but I'm starting to get a wee sense of how far I can run in a given time.

I've recently been introduced to the concept of a spiritual practice as any activity that helps me grow in effectiveness and usefulness to God and to my fellows. This definition really appeals to me because it recognizes my desire to be of service to others, yet it allows plenty of room for self-care. In fact, it demands it. How could I possibly be of any use to God - or anyone else - if I am unhealthy, uncentred, low in energy or (insert other symptom of dis-ease here)?! The priority becomes clear.

This awareness came to me as I was running: I am keeping my body fit, which in turn allows me to maximize my efficiency and usefulness to God. Running as a spiritual practice - it just fits.


PAX,

Writings from the Still Point - Day 1

BATTERY EXHAUSTED...

I never thought I'd be grateful for an exhausted battery, but as my digital camera displayed the dire news, I realized it was a blessing. There I was, standing in one of my favourite places on Earth (tiny dock at Stillpoint) at my favourite time of the year (fall foliage), and rather than letting go and enjoying the moment, I was desperately trying to own it... to capture it so that I could have that moment again and again. And as the sun began to set over the Madawaska River, God sent me a text message: Warning! Battery Exhausted. Momentary confusion - is She talking about the camera... or about me?!

Then the lesson in that moment became clear. God was telling me: "Put the camera down and experience this gift that is before you. Don't grasp. Don't clutch. Don't hold on. I am a God of Abundance and I won't leave you wanting."

So I stood there and watched the sun make its way to the other side of the world. And when there was nothing left but the sharp scent of dusk, I realized that my own battery didn't feel quite so exhausted. Funny, that.

PAX,

Makes me want to SHOUT!

Well, seems we have linking problems once again... I've sent an email to Hoops&Yoyo hoping they can get their techie guys to tell me what the heck I'm doing wrong! But they're in Europe right now, so it make take some time. In the meantime, you can go to the Hoops&Yoyo homepage and select the NEW! read our blog heading from the left menu.

PAX,

Shout-out Loud...

The coolest thing ever... I got a shout-out on the Hoops&Yoyo blog!! Check out the post for October 5th. I've often wondered who these people were - and now I know they are people like me with wonderful friends like Claire. Merci Claire - t'es trop fine!

(Obviously, I'm back from my silent retreat... I have a few "paper blog posts" to add as well as several photos. I'll be posting these over the next few days.)

PAX,

Countdown to Silence...

In exactly 48 hours, I will be surrounded by Silence. Blessed, sweet silence. I didn't go on my biannual silent retreat this past spring because I attended an amazing workshop with Richard Rohr instead. As a result of that decision, it's been almost a full year since my last visit to the Still Point.

I'll be there for 4 days (minus an hour or two). I can't think of a better way to celebrate Thanksgiving than to spend this quiet time with God-in-Nature... my silence boldly proclaiming my prayer of thanks-giving.

Interestingly, the evening before heading off into the Silence, I gather with my fellow Mad Chatters - this wonderful group of friends who are determined to revive the art of pure & simple conversation around ideas (as opposed to other people). I wonder if I'll be tempted to cram in 4 days worth of talking!! :-)

PAX,

More Porchlight...

I noticed in today's newspaper that Project Porchlight is being featured on Citydesk at 6pm on Rogers Cable TV (channel 22 in Ottawa). There were several TV stations at yesterday's launch at City Hall, but there was only a passing reference on CJOH, and I missed it on A-Channel. I'm looking forward to seeing what more extensive coverage might look like.

Interestingly, I very rarely read the weekday paper. Guess I was meant to see this today.

PAX,

Into our own hands...

I caught the last bit of The Great Warming (Episode 2) on TVO tonite. This 2003 production is a 3-part documentary that chronicles how we humans have drastically changed our environment and the impact that will have for generations to come.

I was struck by a segment on how the Louisiana marshes are disappearing and - especially - by comments regarding New Orleans' vulnerability to massive destruction in the face of a powerful hurricane. Remember, this was produced in 2003. How prophetic. I wonder what else we're not listening to...

It's easy to feel overwhelmed by the dire predictions. I suspect that's why so many political leaders and decision-makers turn a blind eye. Like Al Gore says in An Inconvenient Truth, if people in positions of power acknowledged what the world's best scientists know to be true, they would have no choice but to act. They would be faced with a moral and ethical imperative.

Soooo, we can wait for this inconvenient truth to be acknowledged by the high mucky-mucks, or we can start by taking things into our own hands. We can, for example, change a lightbulb.

That's right friends - Project Porchlight is at it again! Following on the heels of last Fall's successful Ottawa South campaign, Porchlight is going city-wide. Be on the look-out for staff & volunteers wearing bright green jackets handing out free compact fluorescent lightbulbs. Say thank you, and change a lightbulb. Waiting is pointless.

PAX,

A PB Kind of Day...

Hubby (black cap)... Brother-in-Law (blue cap)... and me!

Each of us running a personal best (a.k.a. a "PB") at the Steve Hall Memorial 5 & 10K race on Saturday morning. What a great way to start the weekend!

I'd better be careful though. I'm beginning to look like (gasp!)... a runner! :-)

PAX,

A Prayer... for reading the newspaper

I don't read the newspaper on a daily basis. Too depressing. On weekends, I'll browse through it, look at the pictures and speed read the articles that catch my attention. More often than not, I'm skipping the news-of-the-day and being drawn to the more indepth stories. I guess that's why I really appreciated this little gem from the Spirituality & Practice E-Newsletter that appeared in my emailbox late last week. I guess I'm not the only one who sometimes finds it difficult to carry the burden of what the media insists on calling "news".

A PRAYER... FOR READING THE NEWSPAPER

God our Governor, our Judge, our Peace:
the pains of the world snag my heart,
and its turmoils trouble my mind.
There is much I wish to help
but cannot change.
There is much I grieve in the actions of others
but cannot control.

I rest this globe in your hands.
I trust it to your will, your justice, and your love.
I cry to you for its people in their distress.
I pledge to do my part, in my time and place,
to bring your reign near.
I release all I cannot help into your mercy
and into the hands of sisters and brothers
I do not know.

Give me a quiet mind, a spirit of hope,
and an energy of love
for the work and the rest to which you call me.

Give me the humility
to live gracefully with my limitations,
but without despair.

(from Simple Prayers for Complicated Lives by Jennifer Phillips)