Thots on relationship...

Uncle Joe & Tante Noune just celebrated their 57th wedding anniversary. This is a picture of their wedding day: January 31, 1950. Could they ever have imagined the direction their life would take? With six kids, ten grand-kids and I've-lost-count-of-how-many great-grand-kids, you can imagine that they have a very full life. Family & friends. And music. Always the music.

Last night, over sushi and seaweed salad, our Mad Chatters discussion turned to relationships... always a timely topic, non? We explored the difference between soul mates and life mates. I believe in both; I just don't believe they have to be one and the same. I have a life mate and - one day at a time - I freely & happily choose to be with him. I don't necessarily believe that we are soul mates and that we were destined to be together. I also know there is no guarantee we'll reach our 57th wedding anniversary. I sure hope we do! But I've learned that this marriage - and the love that keeps it together - is a daily decision. He is one of my best Teachers; life with him helps me to know myself better. This may not sound like the most romantic perspective to you, but I think it's one that will lead us to a fulfilled life in partnership.

I also have a soul mate. Well, more than one actually... men & women. They drift in and out of my life and somehow connect with me at a deeply spiritual level - just when I seem to need them. There is indeed a sense of destiny. I can go years without seeing them, yet the moment we reconnect, it's like we never parted. I bumped into one such person this past week. It had to be nearly six years since I last saw him. Turns out we had been working in the same building for the last three months. The day I saw him was the last day of his contract, a.k.a. his last day working in that building. Funny that.

I also believe in soul moments... those unexpected times when the walls come down and two people - often casual acquaintances or even strangers - share their stories with each other in an honest and fearless way. So often, those impromptu conversations have shed light on something I'd been grappling with for some time. Those moments are pure gift and I have experienced many.

We Mad Chatters went on to talk about the "fiction of the one true love" - its link to so many unhappy marriages and unmet expectations. We also wandered onto the topic of the detrimental effects of the primacy of the nuclear family in modern society, and the dangers of societal obsession with self-sufficiency. Just another night of fascinating conversation with the Mad Chatters! Somehow, I think that my Uncle Joe & Tante Noune couldn't really care less. They're too busy living their lives...

PAX,