Change is... difficult.

When it comes to my health, I tend to scare easily. In fact, I'm freakin' out a bit today... I'm tired. Empty. Devoid of energy. I have felt like this before for extended periods of time and I don't want to go back there. I'm scared. I want to fix "it" (whatever it is) and I want it done quickly. Now. Spoken like a person who has truly been blessed with good health for the majority of her life, non?

I suspect my diet has a lot to do with it. Last year, I discovered that a lot of what I was eating was toxic for my body. Yeast. Sugar. Fine for many, but not so for me. When I was too sick to work last year, it was easier for me to make the changes required to get better. Motivation was high and I made the changes I needed to make. I began to feel better... much better. In fact, I felt better than I could ever remember feeling! Energy. Stamina. Positive outlook. Weight loss. It was great!!

Hmm, I'm feeling good... this little slice of cake won't hurt me. Nor will this piece of chocolate. Mmmmm, potato chips. Small amounts of toxins that I am willingly ingesting. On their own, harmless perhaps, but the cumulative effect shouldn't be ignored. The way I'm feeling today may be enough to scare me into, once again, making the changes I need to make.

Sounds simple enough, but lately the cravings have been very strong. I have been unsuccessful in avoiding the foods I need to avoid, and I feel guilty and ashamed. And sick. And tired.

And so, I put it out there... this guilt... this less-than-perfection... this shadow. I pray for the willingness to turn it over and for the ability to make healthy decisions - one day at a time.

Or maybe I'm coming down with the flu.

PAX,