It's not easy being green...

Apparently, I am Kermit.

Hi, ho! Lovable and friendly, you get along well with everyone you know.
You're a big thinker and sometimes you over think life's problems.
Don't worry - everyone knows it's not easy being green.
Just remember, time's fun when you're having flies!

How do you rank on The Muppets Personality Test?

(Thanks to Uncle Zio - a.k.a. Miss Piggy - for this...)

PAX,

Feasting...

Today's poem from Spirituality & Practice really struck a chord... especially the very last line. Enjoy!

Love after Love

The time will come
when, with elation,
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror,
and each will smile at the other's welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.

--Derek Walcott

Holy Saturday's Gift...

"Truly, it is in the darkness that one finds light, so when we are in sorrow, then this light is nearest to all of us." - Meister Eckhart

"Help us to be the always-hopeful gardeners of the spirit who whow that without darkness nothing comes to birth, as without light, nothing flowers." - May Sarton

It's Holy Saturday and I'm trying to see how this part of the Easter story is relevant to me today. The expression that comes to mind is "sitting in the unknown". I used that expression this past week as I tried to understand my growing impatience & intolerance regarding my job situation. I became very aware of how I am trying to force a solution. I am not trusting that I need to keep doing the footwork, while letting go of the outcome.

Sitting in the unknown is awkward and uncomfortable. And I think therein lies the relevance of Holy Saturday for me this year. That day between the death & resurrection of Jesus represents all that is unknown. It is a time of confusion... I can just imagine the disciples saying: "What the...?! I thought he was going to save us, and now he's been executed in the manner reserved for the worst of criminals?!! What gives?!"

Of course, since we know how the story unfolds, we could say in hindsight that it represents a time of waiting. Hence the Vigil traditionally held on Saturday evening. But personally, I don't think they were waiting 2000 years ago. They must have thought it was all over. All they could do was grieve their loss - and in secret no less (except for the women), lest they be accused of being one of the Nazarene's followers. They must have been mired in self-doubt, wondering if they had been led astray. This scenario seems more realistic to me.

So, perhaps today is a time to practice being OK with sitting in the unknown... in the self-doubt... in the mystery. Today can be a lesson in acceptance. Acceptance of what is, as it is. Easier said than done...

PAX,

What's Good about this Friday...

"There's an old saying: You can't have Easter without Good Friday. Many people today express the desire to have an open heart, a loving heart, a compassionate heart. Well, how do you open your heart? Usually, it's broken open. Jesus on the cross breaks your heart. He breaks it open. You can't look at the crucifixion without having an experience of compassion. Only a heart broken open — one that can have compassion for those who suffer — can truly appreciate the new life represented by Easter." - Sri Eknath Easwaran

Although I'm not a regular church-goer these days, I've always been drawn to attending Good Friday mass. As I grow along my spiritual path, I find there is something powerful about acknowledging the pain that we are all called to experience at some point in our life. The beautiful thing is that, in the context of the Easter story, we acknowledge it, but we don't stay stuck in it. We recognize it as a stepping stone to greater understanding... to growth... to resurrection.

PAX,

Check the headlines...

I thought for sure it would make the front page when it happened, but apparently the fact that Hell has officially frozen over is buried somewhere deep in the local paper. But it must have happened, because just around 12:30pm today, I found myself running. Just running. As in, running for exercise. Stretchy pants... t-shirt that wicks... the perfect running shoes... Yep, Hell has frozen over.

I joined a beginners running group at work. The timing was convenient and it's free, thus eliminating my usual excuses. Today, we ran for one minute, walked for one minute, ran for one minute, walked for one minute... (repeat 10 times). Funny how we perceive the passage of time differently, depending on whether we are running or walking.

As I reported to Hubby this afternoon, the experience - one I thought I would never embark upon - was not a negative one. And so, there is always hope... :-)

PAX,

Thoughts on Love...

"Humans do not want a God of love, because a lover always makes demands." - Richard Rohr

I've been thinking a lot about Love lately. Not the romantic kind, but the divinely inspired kind. At a workshop, I was once asked what gift was I holding back from the world. My answer was easy: Love. Some days, I just don't think the world is ready for the kind of Love I have to give, and I self-censor. Such arrogance. Who am I to hold back on sharing the very essence of God? That's when I know Fear is guiding my decisions.

Over the past several years, I have recognized and known a God of Love at work in my life. And Richard Rohr is right, such a lover does make demands. No longer can I hide behind excuses that I am not good enough... or that I have "sinned" and am therefore unworthy of God's Love. Every day is an exercise in acceptance of who I am. As I am. I am God's beloved and She is mine. And with that come more demands... The demands that the acceptance extend to others, for they too are God's beloveds. Exactly as they are. Not mine to change, or to fix. But simply mine to love.

Some days, my desire to be close to God is palpable and I know He is waiting... calling... For me, Holy Week, and its powerful stories, is a time of remembering what Love can be. The drama of fear, acceptance, rejection, death, life, love... it's all there.

Although my Lenten journey didn't start out the way I had planned, it continues to carry me along a spiritual path. My literary companions have been Richard Rohr and Joan Chittister, whose words never fail to affirm, enlighten, inspire and challenge me.

Here's wishing you a blessed Holy Week - in whatever shape or form you choose to live it.
PAX,

Just a question of time...

Am I the only one who totally forgot to spring forward last night?! I decided to sleep in until God woke me up, which She did around 9:30 am this morning. It's all good. I'm easing into my morning routine and it suddenly occured to me that I'd forgotten to do something before going to bed. Suddenly, it was no longer 9:30 am, but 10:30 am! Damn. I'd just lost an hour.

But, did I really? Hubby corrected me earlier this week when I commented on the fact that we'd be "losing an hour" this weekend. "No we're not. We'll still have the same number of hours - it doesn't just disappear, y'know." Spoken like the true creature of logic that he is. Got me thinking about time... how we define it, how we use it, how we abuse it. How many times have I heard (and said) I didn't have time to do (fill in the blank...). Truth is, we always have all the time there is. It's what we do with it that matters...

My train of thought has been hijacked. I just received an email from a friend letting me know that a mutual acquaintance lost her baby on Thursday at 24 weeks. What wouldn't she give for more time in the life of her baby girl? I'm sure losing an hour this weekend is the least of her concerns. Losing an hour. Losing a life. There's nothing like perspective...

PAX,